Rough waters in the new relationship
I just started a new and exciting relationship with a man that is not my general type.
We met through my coworker as it is her brother. She over heard me saying that I was single. So then she was eager for me to meet him.
He does not live in Canada so we have been doing all the video chats and messaging thing.
After about 10 days of talking, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was a little unsure as we just started talking but then I thought why not. No harm in trying and I was very interested in him and wanted to learn about him more.
And around this time, I started to experience anxiety attacks. I just felt like everything was going so well that I was expecting something bad to happen and I really worked myself up for close to 2 months during the course of our new relationship.
At first he was very supportive and told me to be calm and not think bad things and that nothing bad will happen that he is there for me always.
I felt so confident and comfortable with him. He made me feel so secure even though I was such a mess.
Well this past month things seemed to change. In my mind. I feel that he is less willing to make me feel secure. I feel that his messages are less and even the phone calls are less.
For 2 weeks he was in another country trying to find out information about coming here. And he has many family members there so I let the less talking thing slide.
But since Monday he was been home and I feel still he hasn't been available for me.
So I feel that I'm not a priority to him and that he is messaging very vague to me.
So I mentioned how I felt over messages. Then we talked on the phone today and I wanted to bring it up just to clarify.
I felt that I had good intentions and that I wasn't thinking anything bad.
I just wanted to explain why I felt this way and what actions he was doing that made me feel like this.
Well instead of being supportive, he got so hyper and his voice grew loud and anger.
I tried to calm him and explain but he wouldn't let me. He then cut the call and ignored my calls and messages for the next 30 minutes.
Finally he replied and told me that if I want to continue thinking bad things then to never speak to him again and that basically our relationship is over if I keep thinking bad things.
I told him that he needs to stop getting hyper and not hang the phone. But he won't admit what he did and just keeps the finger at me saying I need to stop thinking bad things before he changes his behaviour.
My bad thinking was that he is getting bored, or tired of me type of thing.
Before he would give me support and reassurance. I have told him that I don't feel okay in our relationship and that I need some reassurance. But I felt he just couldn't do that for me. And it hurts me.
I really am just a mess today. I feel so low and sad.
I thought he was better than this and now I don't know what to do.
I do believe that we would have a good relationship if we were together. But then I see him like this and it makes me wonder.
And just how do I stop my issues with always thinking so badly? I hate that I think bad. I want to be positive and happy. And not feel like a small change means he will leave.
I'm so afraid to lose everyone because I feel I have no one.
You've never even spent time with this person, face to face. My honest opinion is that there is too much drama, and that the relationship isn't worth it.