Is this normal? Should I stay in this relationship?
I am with my partner 3 and had years. We live together 2 years and he has a 7 y old girl from another relationship. She is a sweet girl. The problem is him… since we’re together I can’t really remember when did he invited me somewhere for a date, night, weekend. There has been some holidays but mostly I had organised it and paid for it, first was on his birthday second one as well and third we paid half each. He often says that he loves me and obviously these 3 years were not just a complete disaster as I love him and his daughter. I just feel like I am not appreciated, we came from London and all he said was that he didn’t enjoy it that it was a sh*t day and when I told him that he is ungrateful and I can’t remember when he took me out for a date he just said if you don’t like it find someone else. It’s not what I deserve but I love him… on the other hand I don’t think all man are like this…
No Julia, it's not normal but it seems to be the accepted in a lot of relationships. In your case, you have a choice like everyone else has, as to who you choose to be with. Yeah, you can love this guy, but then you have to put up with his treatment of you and his lousy attitude. Rather than be with someone who walks beside you and respects you, you're with someone who doesn't even care whether you're there or not, hence his words of you finding someone else. Sure, he can tell you that he loves you, but it's his actions which are showing you something else.
Sit him down and have a serious talk to him and see if that gets through to him....if it doesn't and he's still casual about you and your needs then, as hard as it will be, it'll be time to move on.
Today he came to me as I slept in another bedroom and we’ve had quiet time and he started to kiss me and he wouldn’t go away and I asked him why he does it as he said if I don’t like it then I can leave… and he said he didn’t mean it he was just angry… he suffers with depression and anxiety now and then and it’s hard to read him. When I tried to leave a while ago he was saying the same that I can leave but when he seen the bags he was panicking and crying… he did some progress since then as he always struggled to maintain a job due to his depression but now he is in stable job and pay the bills on time… it’s just this moods … we’re fine for months and then something like this happens