Midlife crisis? Thinking of sleeping with much younger women.
Hello all. So, I got married and had kids way too young, just out of high school, with someone who turned out to be really emotionally abusive to myself and my children until we escaped that situation. I've been trapped in some nowhere town with no family or friends I moved to shortly after that marriage, where the general culture here is nothing like me, and eventually I started working for myself from home. All my local friendships I had made in person at jobs fizzled out over time. So basically, other than my kids for the last decade, I haven't really interacted with adults much at all, aside from old friends and family I talked to online or over the phone. As I worked on my business, and being a single parent, and stuck in a town with no one relatable around, I forgot completely about romance. Like it rarely entered my mind until someone would directly ask about my love life every few years. I'm 40 now.
So basically, I'm about to move with my now young adult children to a much more populated place with a culture much more relatable to my personality and interests. Now that the moving date is approaching I started thinking about what I really want from life now that I'm getting a chance to sort of reset, and I realized that if I don't worry about what people think, I really want to have some casual sex before I'm too old. At some point I wouldn't mind a long term relationship with someone closer to my age, but I really missed out on just dating and having fun when I was younger. Like completely missed out on it. I never had young love or love-making with a functional, non-abusive human being. I want to make love to a young woman, who's beautiful, playful, and alive. Someone not yet jaded and beaten down by the stresses of decades of adult life, with no strings attached or expectations. I've just been a constant ball of worry and stress for decades now, and I want to experience the total opposite of that.
I realize this would all hinge on finding a willing participant who's into older guys, but I'm torn between various advices on whether there's something inherently wrong with having flings with people as young as my adult children, assuming I'm not trying to manipulate or groom them, or trick them into thinking I'm going to give them some magical life they can't get with someone their age.