I don't love the mother of our 6 month old child
I got together with my current partner at the back end of 2019 things developed fast and she moved into my home in March of 2020 at the start of the lockdown.
We are both approaching 40 and discussed and started trying for a baby, during this time I noticed insecurity problems, she was getting drunk alot while at home and was agreeing a lot. It may seem irresponsible but at this point I realised this wasn't the relationship I wanted or that would work so I planned to wait until the end of the month to se if she was pregnant and if she wasn't I was going to tell her things weren't working .
At the end of this month she told me she was pregnant , i was never going to walk away or have that discussion with her so we stayed together and welcomed our baby boy into the world in January of this year. We were both so happy.
A month later she came home from her mums drunk and it was exactly as things were a year ago (this being the first time she had drank for 10 months) she started arguing and acusing me of cheating . Over the last 6 months she has done this multiple times, tried to drive while drunk, argued alot . She has said in past arguments that she would leave and I'd never see my boy and other nasty stuff .
My feelings towards her have gone and we are on completely opossite wavelength but I'm torn as I am scared of being a part time dad so have stuck in the relationship.
I understand that having a baby is a commitment and having a baby that early in a relationship is irresponsible, I would always want the best for my son I just dong know what go do for the best .
Your partner's issues with drink and her insecurity are a heads up for a difficult relationship without the added hassle of a baby. The best for your son, given the circumstances, will be your choice but if your partner can't do it properly, then you'll need to step up and take control of it all, whether you stay with her or not. You'll find it damn hard to come home to a drunk abusive partner and have to look after your son...there's no way can you expect to bring him up properly in that sort of environment.
Regardless of your fears, listen to your gut and do the right thing by your son...you'll find that will be the best for him.
Do you want your child to see constant scandals and unhappy parents? This is not what he needs
I don’t think you should go on with the relationship if you don’t have any more feelings.