Does he actually like me or just want sex?
I never ask anything on forums, but I'm really confused. let me explain (sorry for a long rant). I got out of relationship not all too long ago and then I met this guy at work - and damn, i fell for him. We chatted with my colleagues, somehow talked about relationships - he said his longest one was 2 months and that's it (he's 26). He fucked around a lot, like really a lot, but said if he found the right woman, it would all be gone. We also realized we lived super close, then i went on vacation. We texted nearly every day for a month - he isn't a big texter. He's always online, but doesn't read. Says it's work (he works with me + has a couple of side businesses). I matched with his brother on Tinder - he said i was a beautiful woman and his brother was a handsome man and that he'd be happy for us. But i told him i didnt look for anything specific and whatever happens happens - be it him, his brother or anyone else. Talked a lot, he was gonna go skydiving with his friends and his brother and he invited me to join. I declined the jump but would keep them company.
When i came back from holidays, i had a birthday party where he went too - he was super nice, helped me with my suitcases and stuff, helped me stay awake, took care, held my hand. we went to his place for an afterparty. He told me i could take his bed and stay over and he'd sleep in his brother's bed , because he didnt want me to walk home in the dark with suitcases. i kindly declined, he called me a taxi. next week we matched on tinder too haha
next party was at his. with his friends and our colleagues. but then he didnt pay too much attention, talked to other girls and people in general, i was bummed out. but in the end of the evening, he took care of me, all our colleagues left and his friends stayed. we cuddled up on the couch, i took up the offer to sleep over. he gave me a tshirt, put me to bed. said something very weird and sweet, looked me in the eyes and said 'you are one of the good ones, aren't ya? the rare type of incredible people, they are unique. You know, i was bummed out you got promoted and left the team. but good for you, you'd not see my stupid face every day. but would've been nice, also on some weekends' - dont think he even remembers. drunk talk. and then.. kissed me. jesus, stars in my head 😂 so so good. of course, he tried something more, but i said i wasnt ready. he wasnt happy, but he understood. we just slept in one bed. in the morning we went to supermarket, he was hugging me, even when we bumped into his friends. made a nice breakfast for me and his brother, spend the day hungover, cuddling, i slept on his shoulder. later we went to his friends to watch the football finals, he kissed me in front of his friends and all - all and all , lovely weekend.
We went to the park yesterday, talked a lot about him. he asked me if i wanted to have kinds - funny, we had similar views. both wanted kids - i wanted 2-3 and he wanted 3. i was just gazing at him, how much of a genuinely nice person he was. chilled at mine after - but every time we kiss, he goes crazy. his hands are loose, i stop him, saying i'd like to get to know him first. he's not pushing too much, but kinda pushing. but i made late nigh dinner for him, he slept over, we had a cup of coffee and he went to work. he doesnt text due to work, but.. priorities, no? i gotta text a couple of times before he responds, he doesnt text first and all kissing goes to getting loose. also, i compliment him but he doesnnt do it back. jokes it off, says that he knows it etc. so i just get mixed feelings - does he actually like me? or wants sex? i sure as hell want it, but i'm afraid he'd ghost me after that and i'd end up being hurt. especially cautious, because we are colleagues. and i dont wanna mess things up
Of course he wants sex. Does he really like you? hard to say.
So he's promiscuous, had sex with lots of women, but the longest relationship he's had is two months. Two months? I've got stuff in the freezer older than that. He's still fairly young but 1) do you want to be his first real girlfriend? 2) Is he worth losing your job over?
Coming to you not from a place of judgement but been there, done that: When it didn't work out with a co-worker of mine, he started avoiding me at work. I found a work-around, because I needed the services from his department, but it was inconvenient.
Don't confuse lust (what he has) for affection. You've told him you want to take it slower and he's not listening. And yeah, I've also had the experience of someone ghosting after we had sex. Not some numbskull kid, either, a lawyer. You'd have thought a man like that was still adding notches to the bedpost?
You have made it clear that you are not like his “ others” and that you want to know him before you two get intimate.
Now you can see if he is too immature or too impatient to honor your standards. Time will tell.
Don’t put too much credit or emphasis on the texting. A lot of guys don’t like to do that. Talking in person is what this relationship needs to have happen.
You are doing a good job on this relationship. Keep it up.