Neighbors started ignoring us…
After reading posts from other forums about bad neighbors, I realize that my problem isn’t really a big one at all. It has been bothering me though, so I would like to share.
My husband and I, both 40, moved from a suburban neighborhood to a rural neighborhood in September of 2020. Before we actually moved in, we had to completely replace the dilapidated fence that was around the yard because we have three dogs. The neighbors, in their 60s, were so happy that we were putting up a very nice new fence because the old one was an eyesore and even a casual observer could tell that these people take pride in their beautiful yard/landscaping. They would send over bags of produce from their garden and even hot meals because they knew we were working long hours to get the house ready to move into. The husband mentioned that if we ever needed to borrow any tools to let him know. I was so happy because they were so kind and friendly and my husband and I don’t really have any family to help us with anything. All seemed well.
Fast forward to mid-June. My neighbor was in the yard and we were chatting. I mentioned that we would be going to the beach for a week but told them my good friend would be staying with the dogs. We also arranged for someone to cut the grass once while we were gone. The neighbor said he would keep an eye on the house and garage and that was that. All good.
Since we have returned, neither one of them speak or even wave to us when we are in the yard or drive by. It seems that they are avoiding us. The other day when we drove by, by husband and I waved and they did not wave back. My husband said to me, “have they seemed weird?” I said yes, I’ve noticed that but thought I was just being paranoid.
I asked my dog sitter if the neighbor talked to her at all, and she said they weren’t in the yard much at all because of heavy rain the week we were gone.
The neighbors behind us who are younger than us have not been friendly from the start. But I didn’t mind because they are not obligated to speak to us. However, they do speak to the neighbors beside us that suddenly quit talking to us. The younger couple also recently hung a political flag up in their back where nobody can really see it but us. (People driving by can’t see it). We do not have any political signs and don’t discuss politics in the neighborhood.
I’m an outgoing but sensitive person. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what has happened that the once friendly neighbors suddenly avoid us and don’t wave.
It may sound very silly to some people and you may say “who cares, it could be way worse” I understand that. But it is really bothering me.
My husband has thicker skin than me and he doesn’t care the way I do. I realize that one option would be to simply ask them, but I’m not comfortable doing that at this point.
I'm wondering if your dog-sitter upset or annoyed the neighbors somehow. *Something* happened while you were gone, and your 'friend' isn't being very open.
Even though you state you're uncomfortable by doing so, the only way to get to the bottom of the issue is to ask your neighbours just what is going on. There's something very strange, if they went from offered over the top assistance in various ways to shunning you completely. They would know that you are entitled to an explanation, just as they would if the boot was on the other foot.
Yes, the best way out is to figure out what's what. It is possible to listen to all parties at the same time.
Go to the dialogue. This is the only way to find out what is going on.
I think you should talk together to understand the truth.
All problems can be solved primarily through conversation. Discuss the situation with everyone.