Husband wants to buy a property overseas- alone
My husband, I and are two small children lives in Scandinavia. He’s not from here, but holds a Canadian citizenship and so does our children (they’re born here in Scandinavia, so they have two citizenships)
To make a long story short; husband never liked it here. We have a lot of problems and arguments. He never found himself here. Loved his life in Canada. He’s a self employed - works from home. Recently business have been going well for him, which is good. We have spoken about buying a place here as we live in a quite small rented place (the contract is time unlimited).
Anyways, now he’s thinking of buying a condo in Canada. Because it’s far cheaper than here. He says he wants to use it as an investment. Not for living in….
I’m torn. For many reasons. 1. He will buy a place there, means he won’t have money for us to buy a place here in the country that we live in. 2. The condo overseas will be in his name only! Meaning I won’t have any financial security whatsoever.
Had we bought something here in Scandinavia, I would have contributed financially to the purchase. I will not (and most likely cannot) contribute to a property bought in a country where I don’t residents.
I am frustrated and quite mad.
He says that the children will have security if he buys a property. But what about me!? I have always been there for him and took care of the children so he could work. Made sure the kids wouldn’t bother him when he worked/interrupt him during calls.
Been there for moral support, been there for financial support (solely paid the rent here where we live)
The kids are home schooling (is it called that, when theyre only 1 and 3?) and he tells me that it’s MY choice to keep them home. He would have sent them to daycare and that way I wouldn’t have had the excuse of “ I have taken care of them while you worked”
I think it’s super upsetting to hear I get zero credit for what I’ve done.
Would love to hear others opinion on this matter.
You wrote about six months ago that your husband is terribly unhappy there. Would you be willing to move to Canada?
If not, Apply for a dissolution of marriage.
Six months ago he was unable to find a job, now he's self employed and doing well. Were you supporting the family for six years? Did you quit working to care for two toddlers? Did he want them in day care, or did the two of you think it was the children's best interests to be home with you? You paid all the expenses for an apartment, while caring for children full-time at home? I guess I'm confused about your living situation.
People around the world own property in places they don't live, so I suspect (don't know for sure) that your name could be on the deed to the condo, so is your husband refusing to do that, or are you refusing to contribute.
It sound as if your husband would prefer to live in Canada. If you aren't willing to go with him, perhaps see a lawyer and find out what your options are as far as getting spousal support and child support.
Your desires and those of your husband are very different. Perhaps now it is really worth thinking about divorce.
Why don't you want to live in Canada? Are there any objective reasons not to move there? and invest in real estate in Canada and you will protect yourself that way. It may be worth contacting a lawyer.
SONANGELA7, do you think they should consider moving to Canada in this case?
If he buys a condo, that could be a steady income for the family because he could run it out. Just because he’s going to buy a condo there doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you, or is that what you are afraid of?
You really haven’t made your case for wanting to stay in Scandinavia. Is it because there are family ties?
Your children are so young - you should go where the schooling is good the environment and air is good and it is safe.
Why the tie to Scandinavia?
I agree with SONANGELA7, you should still think carefully about moving to Canada
Wow. Sounds...wow. I love that his ties to Canada allow him to gain property. That isn't the necessary crime to me. Being married gives a sort of financial help as well even if not much, as he seems to be paying for some things. The writing between the communication styles and what os said is what os disturbing.
Could be cultural, I wouldn't know . But I can assume there can a better way for him to present his points. But that had to do with the relationship you both have built and if you both are willing to be diplomatic. Why can't there be two home, a vacation one and one to find new memories in. I know I making this as if it's easy and it's not. But if your married and have small kids and have the funds, could they be multicultural in a sense of how they grow to view their world...