Should I have gotten married? Feeling stuck.
I have been with my husband for 4 years (married 2). He is the only person I have ever dated/kissed/had sex with.
Recently I've been having feelings for a good friend of mine who I didn't meet until after I started dating my now husband. I don't think this friend has any idea about my feelings for him.
I love my husband, I really do, we get along great, he makes me laugh, and he loves me so much and treats me well. However we have semi-differing viewpoints on some major things (ie politics, religion, kids etc.). I didn't even think this was a problem to me until these recent feelings for my friend, now I'm questioning everything.
My friend and I don't only agree on all the major things, we have so many small things in common as well. I can't help but think that if I had meet this friend first that he would be my husband now.
But I guess my question is less about this specific guy and more generally, how do I know I married the right guy? I've never dated more than my husband and sometimes I wish I did. Even if it meant that I would end up married to him at least I would know.
I wish I could have been single a few more years to try and figure everything out but now I feel stuck in this marriage (as good as it is).
Am I just being an asshole and not being grateful for what I do have? How do I deal with these feelings for another man?
Any help with my ramblings would be appreciated x
Politics and religion are not deal breakers. Views on kids - that’s serious.
Do you have children, want or don’t want kids?
I don't have any children, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to. He wants kids and wants to adopt/raise them the wa he was raised which is not what I would want.
This is a huge issue and may be the reason you are not fully committed to him. Plus, it’s something that will affect your future years.
You seem to justify your feelings and actions with this other fellow. But in reality, he’s just a distraction preventing you from making some hard decisions about the truth of your marriage.
Get this decided or resolved, perhaps with the help of a counselor. In the meantime, distance yourself from your friend for a while so you can make clear decisions.