Should I bail out without knowing for certain the rumors are true?
Started seeing someone I’ve know through a friend. After going out to a restaurant a got word from some folks that I he has had a troubled past with money and relationships (taking money from his prior spouses). Also heard from a friend who was out with him and some other folks that he was bragging about his sexual conquests and talking about a woman’s breasts in the same room at the restaurant.
He said the guy was acting like a jerk who was 16 instead of the 69 year old man he is. I don’t think he’s broke but also don’t believe he’s totally financially secure and still works. It’s somewhat embarrassing to be seeing someone of 2 different ppl tell me to run not walk from him. I wasn’t sure what to do but thought maybe I should try to reach my own conclusions.
Then I reconnected with someone I saw on one date a few years ago. He is a solid citizen and was divorced a few years ago but is on good terms with his ex (unlike the guy I’m seeing who villafies his 2 ex wives and one of his sons). Also this new guy had an established legal career (I’m a lawyer too) is my age and just seems to be a good guy. I don’t want to lead anyone on but am tired of guys who have too much baggage. I have my life together. I’m a widow and financially secure. I’m 64 already and no time to waste or be disappointed. I do like the original guy but should I cut my losses now and focus on the new guy (new guy lives 50 miles away and current guy is down the street so that’s a factor)?
You don't have to bail out because of gossip and rumors.
You can bail out because he speaks poorly of his exes. He picked 'em. He also raised the kid he's on the outs with. Sometimes you can google people and find out some things: arrest records, things like that. Have you googled his email address? I did once, and discovered that the fellow I was emailing was actually looking for a prostitute.
50 miles away is ... a lot, easily an hour drive or more. I don't know if you're in a position to relocate, or maybe he is. I understand not everyone wants to or can. After I was widowed, I realized I still needed to work. Relocating, finding a new job at 53 was not part of the game plan. I did date one nice fellow over one summer, but he was retired, (snowbird). He did ask when I was planning to retire, but when I told him my timeline/situation, we went our separate ways, he didn't offer to support me.
I would go for the decent human being over a 69 year old who brags loud enough about breasts in a restaurant -_-