What should I choose. Passion or Opportunity?
I don't know how to start my thread and also i apologize in advance for my bad english but hopefully someone can give me an advice. Here is my story.
2018. I'm a seafarer and our ship's route is at Sulu (one of the islands in the Philippines that is well known for terrorist groups). During my 1 and half month stay on Sulu , i was able to talk to some of the soldiers and learned about their life as a soldier. The better i know about their life, the more i want myself to become one of them. After we depart in Sulu, i always think about myself on becoming a soldier especially the navy. When we arrive on our destination which is Cebu (one of the province in the Philippines) i passed a resignation letter to my company since i want to become a soldier. My parents, siblings, relatives and friends advices me that my passion of becoming a soldier is just a temporary which only triggers because most of the people i talked about on Sulu were soldiers. They told me that maybe i should consider myself applying on international shipping agencies to give myself a break.
2019. My uncle helped me and yes i was hired at his agency in Manila. Since they don't include my domestic ship experienced, I undergone "office utility" which is good for 9 months before they give me ships line-up. That time i always think of quitting since 9 months is way too long but my parents told me to just try it since it is an opportunity. I followed their advice, but i also planned that after my 9 months of office utility, i will pursue my dream on becoming a soldier.
March 2020. 6 months with my office utility, COVID-19 comes up. Philippine Government declared a lockdown. During lockdown i realized how i waste so much time and didn't pursue my dream on becoming a soldier. No work, so my office utility is still not yet over. The office told us to wait for further instructions and for the news update regarding our office training.
July 2020. When the government lift the lockdown, i decided to follow my dreams and will register myself for the upcoming military exam. But a week after, my agency called me to prepare my papers for my ship's deployment next week.
During my time on ship, i always think of joining the army/navy. My co-workers told me that when my contract is finish, i should proceed what is my passion but they also told me to never tell the agency that i was planning to take an exam on military so that they won't cancel my line-up just in case i won't pass the exam.
September 2021. My contract was finished and i was planning to register on the upcoming military exam this October/November. My mind was fixed and i already decided to proceed what my passion is since i know that my military decision is not temporary.
October 2021 (last week). My agency called me to renew my expired papers so that i will have my ship line-up. My plan is if they call again, i will tell them the truth that i will take an exam for military and i'm not yet available for my next vessel assignment. Just in case they will cancel my next vessel assignment because of military exam, I will apply in domestic shipping for open contract so that i can report any time just in case i'll pass the exam and also to earn extra money. But my parents, siblings and relatives advices me to just proceed what my agency says since it is an opportunity because in my next vessel, i will be promoted.
They told me to never waste the opportunity because the salary of seafarer is much higher than the salary of soldier. For me I don't mind about the salary because i'm a thrifty person and I can't afford another ship contract because if i will accept this contract, all my dreams of becoming a soldier will be gone due to the fact that i will be overage next year.
My question is, should i tell my agency the next time they call me that i will take an exam for military or should i proceed what my parents, siblings and relatives called opportunity? For me this is a "now or never" and will be the biggest decision of my life. Missing the opportunity to become a military (navy) which is my passion, or missing the opportunity of my seafarer career? I am having a sleep difficulty and anxiety every night due to this decision and i need an advice. I guess this is the only way i can share my problems and i believe that strangers seems to give the best advice because they're not bias on their advices. Thank you in advance and God bless.
Passion no doubt