Married and confused.
BLOOM565 - Oct 10 2021 at 04:01
I was in a 4 year relationship with a guy I met online. We both wanted to marry each other but the circumstances didn't work in our favour.
Now, I'm married to someone else. But I miss my ex. It's been 2 and half year's of our break up and 2 year's of my marriage. I feel like I rushed the marriage because I wanted to move on.
My husband is a kind, gentle man but my ex was a possessive madly in love kinda guy. I know he still misses me and now I have this strong urge to contact my ex, maybe for closure or to remain friends. Idk what I should do? Is this a bad idea? Mostly I think I'm feeling guilty for leaving him.
I'm not sure what to say because it sounds confusing.
Did you decide to not be with your current husband already?
You should not feel guilty for leaving, if you realize you maybe made a mistake. People change, situations change, life goes on.
The worst thing someone can do is knowing that they don't want to be with someone, but still staying together simply for no reason or out of guilt.
Maybe bring this up if you are comfortable, and if you are financially okay, consider a break to figure out what you really want. (?)
The "possessive madly in love" thing got me confused. No offense but you sound bored with your husband while your ex sounds like a guy that was exciting. Not sure if that is a good enough reason to put your marriage in limbo. Moving fast is one thing but moving on is another.
I think you should get some time alone before you reach out to your ex. Weigh iut the pros and cons of your ex and your husband.
If you're going to compare your marriage with fantasy or with what you choose to remember of another romance, reality will never be as exciting.
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Did you ever even meet? Be with each other on a regular basis? Because if you *both wanted to be married* you'd have found a way to make that happen. You'd have found a way to move, find jobs near one another, and be together. You just would. People move. They find new jobs. They make decisions and sacrifice somethings to get other things.
I don't know if you marriage is good, bad or somewhere in between. I DO know that constantly looking for greener pastures is a little shallow.
If you're truly unhappy, maybe some counseling is in order. Remember this: It's easy to love someone you don't live with. It's hard to live with someone you love.
I think that you should have stayed with ex since now u are having second thoughts