PeoplesProblems Logo

Am I just overthinking this or could this work?

Ok so I have been single since February and I’ve been doing some online dating through tinder since then. I met my ex (together for 3 years) on tinder so I’m hopeful that I will find something new on there. At the end of September, I matched with this guy and we’ve been talking since. We’ve gone on multiple dates and I’ve even stayed over for a night at his place. We have really good conversations and I always have a good time with him. The thing I’m concerned about is that he’s a pretty sexual person. For example, he’s asked me what my bra size was. He’s also tried to touch my breasts while watching a movie in a theater. My ex is the only relationship I’ve been in and the new guy that I’m talking to seemed to be interested in that. So he’s been asking me about things that I like to do sexually or things that I haven’t done because of the fact that I’ve only been with one other person. I even asked him if he was looking for something sexual or if he was looking for a serious relationship and he said that he wanted something serious. It even sounded like he was little bit offended that I would think that all he wanted was sex. He also told me that he has a lot of friends that are girls but it’s nothing sexual. I know it sounds like he’s a perv but we really do have great times and I can tell that he actually does like me but I really don’t want to waste my time. He does seem like a really open person and he doesn’t make me fee uncomfortable but it just worries me. So am I overthinking this?? Please let me know your thoughts.

Am I just overthinking this or could this work?

If you don’t like sex, find a guy who doesn’t like sex.

Am I just overthinking this or could this work?

It honestly sounds creepy to me. I don't know what happened when you spent the night together. Maybe he thought you were ready for more physical contact. If you're not, (or even if you are) since there seems to be some mixed signals, I suggest a clothes-on, no booze talk about your expectations and his. It's not too early - you may as well discuss it now, rather than keep dating and becoming more attached to somebody whose expectations aren't compatible with your own. Are you dating because you're bored, or are you looking for a partner? What's the longest relationship he had? Why didn't it work out? (Why didn't yours work out?) What are your plans for work, school, a place of your own? Is religion important to you? These are all things to discuss if you're looking for something long term. If you're just going out on dates because you're bored, none of the above matters. Have sex if you want, don't be pressured into it if you don't. If you're seriously looking for a life partner, all these things matter as much as sex. That he's not asking these questions tells you he's not very serious.

Am I just overthinking this or could this work?

We actually talked about all of the questions you mentioned. And when I stayed the night with him we did have sex but he asked me if I was sure if that’s what I wanted to do. And I said yes. But I do agree that maybe we should have another conversation just to really be clear about what we both want and are looking for.

Am I just overthinking this or could this work?

Sounds like he’s got a one track mind, and very immature. What else is going on in his life? ( school, job, hobbies) Your relationship is new and he seems excited, but there’s got to be more to him than wondering about your bra size.

Am I just overthinking this or could this work?

He works a lot actually and he isn’t in school. He also wants to join the Air Force within the next year. He’s also very considerate about my life as far as if I’m dealing with something. For example, my grandma was recently admitted into the hospital and he’s asked multiple times about her and her health and how I’m feeling about it. He does seem very genuine and I do agree with you that he’s probably just excited. But I still might talk to him to get confirmation.

This thread is due to expire in 21 days

B-1