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Elder in denial

NOTAJUDGE profile image
I have an elder roommate and he is a sweet guy but has a tendency to think he is more capable than he actually is. He fell a few months ago and has been in the hospital since. Since he has no family and no friends he asked me to take on the responsibility of caregiving. I asked him what will that consist of. He said occasional hoyer lifting from bed to wheelchair.. I called his social worker then found out he will need toileting care and that he is bedridded. She said he was suppose to tell me but he avoided telling me the latter. Everytime i bring it up he tries to avoid it by insisting that he will be lifting weights and praying but the reality is he will be this way for the rest of his life. Now he is coming home and the hoyer lift isn't here. I told him that he will have to be in bed til it gets here and he was shocked. He suggested that i can help him stand and pivot into chair and so forth. He is over 230 lbs i can't lift him at all. He says "well im not worried about it" but I am. He doesn't want to move into home and wants to stay here. He cannot afford a fulltime caregiver so i am at my wits end. I have children and a life of my own. I suggested that we move out but he claims he doesn't know anyone and considers me his closest friend. I do see him as a friend but i didn't plan on being his last resort to fulltime care. I feel sort of trapped into this but i also don't want to hurt his feelings. Any suggestions?

Elder in denial

You need to call his social worker back and tell her what’s going on. If he has a social worker then that means he’s low income., right? Is he on Medicaid? If so, He has the best benefits of any insurance carrier. And he can have home health care come to the home and help set him up so that there is minimal care required. He should’ve had everything brought to his home that he was using in the hospital. The doctor could have ordered all of that equipment. Otherwise he may really have to go into a care facility if there is 24 seven care needed for him. I agree you need to step back and let agencies solve this issue.

Elder in denial

NOTAJUDGE profile image
Naw he makes too much for medicaid and all of his funds go to his rent bills etc. He cannot afford home health with medicare, i asked his social worker. But thank you for some insight. Good news he did get a hoyer lift for free it came yesterday. A good chunk of my day is spent caring for him. We spoke on how this cannot be my whole life. He said he knows someone that will come in a few times out the day to work with him for free. Hoepfully they won't flake on him or scam him in some way.

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