My girlfriend and her tattoos
Maybe you all think I am crazy, too oldfashioned, too intolerant, but let me explain what my "problem" is.
I am currently in a relationship with a woman that I really love.
Due to Covid and other personal reasons in our lives, as of now we cannot live together - we come from cities about 100 kilometers apart - so it is basically a long distance relationship. As of now that is okay for both of us and we try to see each other as often as possible. The plan is - of course - to live together as soon as the personal reasons allow that.
When I met my girlfriend she had some tattoos on her arm and her legs. To be honest, I have never really been a big fan of tattoos, as I think they are "sending signals". I don´t know how to explain it. I have no issues against subtle tattoos - as long as they don´t cover the entire body.
When I met my girlfriend I didn´t have any problems with the "amount" of tattoos on her body. I feel that now, every time we meet, she has gotten new tattoos. The newest one is on her neck and is very visible with strong colours and big in size. To be honest I don´t like the look of it - and I am also having a fear that it will be a "game stopper" for her job search, as she is currently looking for a new job. Due to her education and job experience, she is mainly looking for jobs where she has a lot of customer contact and where her "appearance" is important.
I DO know that it is her own personal choice to have many tattoos - and to obviously have more and more of them. And OF COURSE she does not have to ask me before she gets the tattoos. And of course it is the person "behind" the tattoos that I love.
It´s difficult for me to explain how I feel about it, but I really like nice and clean skin and it is just getting waaaaaayyyyy TOO much for me with all those tattoos.
I haven´t said directly to her that I am not the greatest fan of tattoos in general, but I am pretty sure she knows my opinion on that.
I know that I should probably have a more direct conversation with her about it, but I´m afraid to hurt her feelings.
Maybe I am being too conservative and old-fashioned, and of course I love her - but I honestly think that it will affect our relationship in a bad way if she continues to increase the number of tattoos in that way.
Any input from you are very much appreciated. Thank you!
I’m not too sure a conversation about this would be such a good idea because like you said, she could be hurt by it. Maybe theses tattoo mean a lot to her and it could be how she expresses herself. She shouldn’t have to cover up and it’s not like she can easily get rid of them. So you can kind of see how it won’t end well, there isn’t really a solution.
She had them when you met her, there was always a big possibility that she was going to get more. A tattoo on her neck sounds painful, and also is the very visual end I don’t think you can get much more visible then that.
You don’t have to like them, it’s knowing that this is her and (like you said) her choice and love and like her for all the other good things about her and remembering what attracted you to her.