Am I being strung along or is he getting comfortable?
I apologize if this is quite long but I was rather confused about the state of my relationship.
I met a guy off of an app 3 months ago who’s pretty much my gender bend. I was looking for friendship as to where he was looking for friendships and romance. We had started talking on the phone and were completely obsessed with each other. We would spend nights and mornings on the phone and FaceTiming/zooming for weeks on end. Eventually he confessed to liking me, however 1 month in, my only intention was to be friends with him as it had only been 1 month. He promised to take things slow and ensured me everything would be okay. He would continually flirt and wait for me to get back home so I could give him a call. Eventually I started to fall for him as we both had a lot of things in common. We planned on meeting considering we both live in the same state. He told his parents, siblings, and grandparents about how he believed that I was the one for him. We had the same plans and he was obsessed with the idea of moving in with him if and when things got serious. The only thing I was iffy about was the fact that he had an on going relationship with his ex of two years and was also on the phone with her on some of the days. As of right now, I do not believe they speak anymore. However, due to college I was unable to meet him until January.
When we met in January, our first date started off with him picking me up from my house. This interaction went well although he was quite awkward in the beginning. He didn’t really say anything about my appearance but I complimented him to break the ice. We hit it off immediately and he initiated kissing/making out in the parking lot of the aquarium. I’m completely new to the dating game so it went fine and the only issue on my part was that I was a complete klutz considering I stepped on his shoes like 5 times (which I apologized for like 90 times). After the aquarium, we were supposed to watch a movie however we finished seeing the aquarium pretty quickly so he suggested going to his house because the movie we wanted to watch wouldn’t start till later in the afternoon. We had about 3-5 hours to kill. He suggested going to his house and I was a little nervous about it, but agreed. Probably not the most best decision on my part but I was fairly comfortable with him so I decided to go with him.
When we got there, he told me he would clean his room so we could watch some shows and chill. I watched him clean his room and then we started to watch a show. Two seconds in, he gets very touchy and starts to make out with me. He gets my consent and starts to get very touchy feely. We didn’t sleep together but we were a little intimate. After that, he just would not stop staring into my eyes and couldn’t take his eyes off of me. We started to cuddle as he put on a show, and if I dozed off for a couple of seconds, I would wake up to him staring at me. He would touch my hair and would continually trace every crevice of my face. At this point, I had to go home and my hair was a mess. He offered me a hair brush and could not take his eyes off of me the entire time. He then moved my hair behind my ears and would stare at me without saying much of anything. The entire drive back, he wouldn’t let go of my hand. He spent about 4 hours driving me back and forth from his location to mine. When he dropped me off, we exchanged I love you’s (although I was always the one to say it first) and he went off on his way. When he got home he texted me and told me he was back home safely.
After those coming days, our communication really came to a stand still. The calls and texting decreased a lot. Although he does sometimes call me in the morning and night to sleep on the phone with me. The flirting has completely stopped. Whenever I wouldn’t respond to his texts, he’d blow up my phone until I would respond but now he tends to take a longer time to respond. He also ignores my messages that I send on Instagram unless he wants to check my activity status on Instagram. I recently asked him how he felt about us and he had told me that he had made mistakes in his past relationships where he moved things too fast. He said he’d prefer to ask me out 6 months-1 year from now which obviously I was comfortable with as there was no rush. I have less than 2 weeks left in my current location which is close to him before I have to go to another state for school so I asked him if I would see him again this month or if we would see each other 6 months from now in the summer. He was really flakey with his answers but assured me he liked me and claimed we were “soon to be’s”.
I have no issue with waiting but I am worried I am being strung along.
At first he was obsessed with the idea of meeting me, but after the first meeting, he doesn’t really seem motivated to meet again. All the flirting and I love you’s has completely diminished. I’m pretty affectionate and I’ll tell him how I feel for him but he only tends to respond with an “aww” or something very menial. He only calls me when he wants to play video games or wants to go to sleep but that’s about it. Am I overthinking or am I being led on? I can’t tell if he’s comfortable or just not interested. Thanks in advance.
Someone who isn't interested in even *going on a date* for six months or a year isn't interested in dating. You agreed to that. If he doesn't want to date you, and you're okay with that, I'm not sure how you see a problem.
Frankly, I think someone who puts a timeline that far out isn't really interested. If you want to pursue a relationship, look elsewhere. Actually, since you're moving in a couple months, and you're not really looking for a romance anyway, you can just write this off as a pleasant meeting. Maybe the fantasy of a relationship was more appealing to him than actually putting forth the effort to be in one. It happens a lot.