Broken hearted and backstabbed by best friend
Hello almost 5 years ago i met a 23 year old woman online playing video games. I soo. Learned she had a emotionally and physically abusive bf. And had 3 young kids. I was 33 years old when we met and became good friends.
Over the course of that year we started to grow feelings for each other. And talked and played every day. And was witness to a lot of the emotional abuse. And heard the threats of physical abuse.
Well she refused to let me call the police or anything because she was afraid. Well eventually she introduced me to another friend she used to play with that went away for awhile and she had had some feelings for him but he turned her down.
And he would tell me all the time that he wasn't attracted to her that she looked like shrek and he thought she was dumb and stupid and other stuff and they fought a lot. But he and i become close enough friends he call me his brother.
Well about 3 years ago they kept arguing and fighting. And eventually had a massive fight and he left for 2 years. And told me he only stayed thta long to talk and play with me. Because he knew she would keep me from him.
He cameback last year but quickly fought again. So he left and wanted me to tell her he was having a surgery and feel into a coma. I said no i wasn't getting involved with that. So he pretend to be him mom to message it to her and left.
He cameback again in August and stayed a week before leaving again. And her and i started talking about how she wanted to finally get out of her abusive relationship. In September but she was still scared. So it took a bit for her to get up the courage to do it.
The friend cameback again in late October. And they would still fight very badly off and on. Well almost 2 weeks ago she finally did it. When the abusive bf left to work she gathered his stuff and put it outside and wrote a letter telling him it was over and why.
She was terrified when he cameback and from work. And she was on with us for support and she was scared to death crying and everything. Well the other friend went quiet during this said he couldn't talk. That he lost his voice and thought he was getting covid. Meanwhile i was on the mic the entire time with her. And her brother even called me and her during this time.
Telling me to watch out for her and the kids the best i could while on the mic with her. And is something happened to call him and he would call the police. Well right after the friend was magically able to talk again and acting fine.
So the plan was once she was safe and out of that abusive relationship. We would be together. But a few days after things went weird. She hardly replied to my messages and only replied after the other friend replied. Then wouldn't play online with me until it was time for the other friend to get off work.
Then a couple nights ago we get offline and she messaged me she was going to ask the other friend out. I was shocked but didn't think anything would happen because of the stuff he said and did. She often would tell him your not my bf so shut the blank up. And he would laugh at her and say damn right and never want to be. So the next night when we got off she messaged me im going to ask him now.
Then she really shocked me and said he said yes. My heart instantly broke and felt like i had been stabbed in the back by a friend close enough to be a brother. He messaged me and said this doesn't mean where pushing you out. And she begged me to stay saying sorry and asking if i was going to leave her now. But she didn't want to lose me because i ment so much to her.
The next day i messaged hello in the group and she and he replied hello. And i said what's up? They both said not much and she added just chilling. So i said do you want to play something? She then no sorry im busy. I said i thought you was just chilling and she started at me telli g me she has kids and everything.
But i could tell they were playing together so i just left it alone. Hours later they show online at the same time. She joins my and it said she was in a private party that i couldn't hear. She immediately left and made a new lobby and invited me the other guy was there.
So i got upset and said its obvious you wasn't busy and was on with each other why lie. They said the samething stay please blah blah. And because she's in Australia right now i asked would she be on the next day and it would be late afternoon here. And she looked but didn't reply. I said i guess not. And soo. We got off and the other guy messaged trying to say sorry about everything and i said yous begged me to stay.
But yet are treating me like shit still. I even asked her about playing while your at work and got told sorry im busy tomorrow. He said he didn't understand why she said that.so yesterday i messaged him a reply because he messaged and i asked if he and i could talk? He said he was on the phone only with her. And she looked again at my hello message but wouldn't reply.
So i was suspicious and got on the game and found them playing showing offline. I messaged him only phone and busy hey. They immediately showed online and he tried to talk his way out of it. And she never said a word in the group. I messaged hello to her specifically. And she replied what do you want?
I said i just messaged hello and you refused to reply for some reason. After begging me to stay and not go. But your lying and hiding and acting weird. What is going on and what did i do to deserve this?
She didn't reply again. The guy messaged me privately and said he told her he wasn't doing that agin and she agreed. But hours later they came online at the same exact time again and invited me to the game and to a party chat.
He stepped away for a bit and she sounded like the most cold hearted thing ever. Ive never heard her so cold before. And was just rude to me. So later on we had a big argument her and i. And he stayed out of it. All because i joked with the guy and we had always done it before and it was ok.
And she told me i had to watch what i say now. I said nah we've talked like that to each other for almost 5 years. So whats different now. And it just escalated from there. For like 5 minutes and i asked him i said did i hurt you with what i said? He said no. And i have a financial situation coming up and ive been on edge about it. And she goes your just trying to make everything about you after what i went through. I said what you think i asked for this because you had som6going on?? I said girl just because you got problems from an abusive relationship right now.
Don't mean no one else in the world has problems that stop until yours are done. Then she cooled down the rest of the evening.
So what im asking in this long long story. Is what advice anyone can give me on what to do? Thank you ahead of time. I still love her and everything but im lost
You love someone you've never met, and you're never going to meet. I'm gong to guess the other guy has never met her either. She seems to have more of a connection with the other guy than she does with you. I don't know why, he doesn't sound nicer or more invested than you, but that's the way it goes sometimes.
My advice would be to see if there's a way to get involved with people you can see and interact with in real life. I know COVID makes it harder, but not impossible.