Friend of two years is showing red flags
I've known this person, we'll call them Y, for two years, and up until now, I never realized anything was wrong. Within the past few months, they've been showing signs of emotional manipulation to get their way, using me and my friend as a source of comfort rather than people, and more. The moment a friend revealed that they wanted to try sexual things (they were previously asexual/assumed to be), Y started bombarding them with sexual roleplays, and hasn't given them a single break ever since.
Any time we tried to bring up to them that they were being problematic, and that we were willing to help them change to be less so, they'd disregard our help and simply get upset (to the point where they once threatened su1c1d3 moments after for an "unrelated reason"), which would discourage us from ever bringing up any of the more serious problems they present.
You may be thinking, "just block them/cut contact!" but it wouldn't be that easy. Trust me, we've considered it. We've known them for so long that at this point, our attachment to them has us stuck. This just feels like an impossible situation to break from due to our own feelings for them. I swear, it feels like Y's toxic behaviors came out of the blue, they've been completely fine for the two years we've known them.
As a conclusion, I don't want to have to cut contact with them. I want to be able to work things out (which is impossible since any attempt as such could lead to them overreacting, no matter how lightly we put it). If that's the only option, I can try bringing myself to.
hello everyone, I want to advise you, the author of the article, to have iron patience because not everyone can tolerate the behavior of another person, this is a fact, but I hope everything will be fine, you need to perceive the person as he really is, and be polite to each other in a friendly way
Friends can be stuck to you by the hip, but when they begin to over ride your sense of right & wrong, then it's time to step aside & have a look at what makes them tick. If they use the suicide card, then you have no option but to step away because people need to help themselves first & they generally need professional help upfront. It's the best help Y can get.
If you have considered going no contact, then the issue is basically showing you the way, because your gut instinct is kicking in...use it & trust it & you can't go wrong.
To be honest, I think that if you have the opportunity to go to university abroad, you need to take it up. A family business, of course, is cool. But considering how you speak about the place of your residence, it can be understood that you still want to move out. Since if you really wanted to continue the family business in a modest tourist town, you wouldn't think about anything else. Maybe this is an opportunity to change everything for the better. After graduate, work and earn. Perhaps later you will return to the family business and develop it in various possible ways.
Your problem is whether to leave the comfort zone or not. You're afraid to make a serious decision about your future. But that's okay. Not okay to sit still and do nothing. So go ahead. Get ready, study, work in parallel. You will be proud of yourself and for your hardwork. So are your parents.
I am so sorry. Wrong forum (
Lol. The way out of this situation is extremely simple, he is the only one and you understand perfectly well. Stopping communication is the only thing that can be done. Just trust me that this is the simplest and most effective option. There's no way you can change this person. You can't influence him. Okay, maybe after discussing this problem, he will try to change. He'll say, "OK, I'll change for you." At first you will notice these changes. But things will only get worse over time. I wish you good luck!
In essence, your question is "How can I make my friend change so I don't have to?"
You can limit your time with him/her. You and your other cohorts can walk away when your friend starts to manipulate, say "We're done for today, pal," and maybe s/he'll get the message.
Stand fast, know what you'll stand for and what's a deal-breaker. Sometimes friendships don't last forever. We move on.