No sexual relationship for a LONG time...not by choice
So...it may be a bit unbelievable, but here goes...
I've been married for a long time--as in 42 years.
I have two children, both conceived within 3 years of marriage. Sexual contact dwindled down--after a time--to absolutely nothing.
My sex drive also diminished...and I simply went with it.
Fast forward to 16 months ago. I went to the hospital got an MRI, and a benign tumor was found on my pituitary. The pituitary controls hormones---and in the male body, the main hormone in this case is testosterone. My levels were close to zero; I'm 6'2" and weighed 360.
Medication was prescribed...the tumor shrunk. My testosterone shot up and I dropped weight like a rock! In 16 months, I've lost 120 lb. And...everything started working again. EVERYTHING.
So, I approached my wife...mentioning my once again found and active libido. Her reaction? "NO! I'm not an animal!"
So...I'm stuck here. I have not had sex--other than wild bouts of masturbation--in 37 YEARS. Yes, you read that correctly.
I suggested counseling. She refuses to go.
Any advice would help! And NO...this is NOT a troll post. It's very real...and there's more, but I wanted to keep the initial post short.
Whoa... you've got way too much patience.
Like, 37 years, seriously? And then, "I'm not an animal"?! Seems to me that she all of a sudden feels objectified by the idea of you wanting to have sex with her. That itself should mean that the both of y'all's sex life is dead and gone.
So much of your time was wasted. But I really don't believe you should waste any more time. Accept the fact that your wife has some weird belief against sex and move on. I know it's easy for me to say. But I am seeing a lack of cooperation.
Just curious though, did the sex stop because you didn't want to have it? You did say that your drive diminished before the tumor.
First...thanks for the responses.
The physical part stopped because she just wasn't interested. And "no" meant "no".
Dating? A good idea...but she won't (and I mean WON'T) go anywhere. Hugs? Definitely. Flirting? Tried it and did NOT get a good response.
"Just curious though, did the sex stop because you didn't want to have it?"
Well...let us say that I have some rather well developed muscles in my right hand and arm....
There is a lot more. I asked her to go to counseling...flat out refusal. I see signs of depression; again, no counseling.
Just wondering...is anyone else out there in the same boat?