Several years ago I started dating a woman with 3 children. We both had good paying jobs for great companies. Her ex basically provides child support and nothing else. 3 years ago she abruptly quit her job and asked if she could stay home for a year to which I told her we should be able to make it. Several disasters around the house occurred and she went into a spiral. We took care of that and thought things were getting better. She is an alcoholic but refuses to admit it. Several other family events occurred causing her to fall into a depression which she will not seek help for. She pays the main bills as it is her home, and I have paid for several major installment of various appliances and even a down payment to purchase her lease. There have been several large expenditures on my behalf on top of paying bills like water, gas etc. I feel as though I no longer love her and feel more like her personal Bank. I will miss the kids which will break my heart. My biggest thing lately is she will find work and always quit rather quickly and blame management or coworkers on why she can’t work at that establishment. She once was fired from a job on her second day because she was drunk. We are total opposites. I’m punctual and financially responsible and she is the total opposite. I am ready to move on. I enjoy solitude to her wanting to be out and about doing things as she is always in competition mode with her ex. What do you think? Any advice on how to do this as nicely as possible? Thank you in advance.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and it is so sad regarding the children. I believe you are making a good decision, especially since she is an adult and so she has a responsibility as an adult to take care of herself. I think about the only thing you can do is sit down with her and as gently as possible tell her you are concerned about her drinking and encourage her to get help. And then you'll need to move on with your life without her, which, as I said above, is a good decision. Hopefully, her ex will step up to the plate and provide any assistance and care the children might need while their mother gets her act together.
Thank you Mona. Your advice is greatly appreciated.