Partners been very ill - sex life gone
3 years ago my partner became very very ill (life in danger, on a ventilator in intensive care type of ill.) It was very sudden and a horrific time.
Since then he has made some recovery (he will never be back to how he was, but is loads better then he was 3 years ago.)
We haven’t had any kind of sexual relationship since he became ill, literally nothing. Before he was ill we had a very adventurous and full on sex life and I had no complaints at all! But now he has no interest (his condition does not prevent him from having a physical relationship now.) Some of medications may make things tricky for him sexually, but he won’t even try.
Now if I suggest going to bed for a cuddle to see what occurs (so absolutely no pressure at all) he just isn’t interested and won’t even talk about it.
I’m at a loss as to what to do, he’s been through so much and I truely do understand that, but I’m only in my 30’s and the thought of not having a physical relationship again is gutting to me. At the same time I don’t want him to feel pressured and get upset by it all.
I feel awful to be honest, as the main thing is he’s still here with me (there was a very real chance he wouldn’t survive) and the sex shouldn’t matter...but it does.
Not knowing what illness he had, or the symptoms, I can't really form any decent advice on this. But 2 thoughts.
1. If his illness weakened his body in certain areas (heart, lungs). He may be afraid of what could happen if he overexerts himself.
2. A close brush with death could leave him in a depressed and confused state. Dealing with ones own mortality isn't easy. He may require therapy.