My life problems that are a hindrance
I first wanted to start off with by saying that I have just turned 37 years old and it is starting to bother me that in my entire life I have had no friends. I was an introvert with social anxiety throughout schooling and college, so I kept to myself and never socialized with anyone and have always lived with my parents. My parents drilled in me that friends only cause trouble and they would never invite any of my friends to their house.
After college, I was unable to get any kind of job due to some of my family members being connected to organized stalking groups. I made some of my family members upset and angry when I lashed out from their bullying/gaslighting (my sociopathic/narcissist siblings), and they gave my name over to this well-connected group of people that then had me blacklisted from employment in my community. I also had my pets killed with poison, have had home break-ins with covert drugging/poisoning in my food/drink orchestrated from this group and siblings. This all happened at my parents house since I never moved out, as I was not able to obtain any kind of job due to employment blacklisting and having no money of my own. These people would commit the crimes at our house while me and my parents were away from home. Someone poured fake blood on my bed while we were away and put dead animals under my car. They from time to time monitor our house and internet connection. My sister is in with the group as she hacks into my computers, parents TV, and insinuates I will die soon when she visits. I am still not sure how to deal with this issue.
Also, since my parents and most of my family are religious conservatives, they are against homosexuality. Unfortunately, ever since elementary school through out my whole life I have had crushes and attraction, romantic, sexual feelings for other males (my own gender) only, never were any of those kinds of feelings for females, the opposite sex. These were crushes and romantic longing on male students in school and college and male video game/cartoon characters. Due to being introverted, shy, social anxiety issues, and taught that homosexuality is wrong from my family, mainly my parents, I never attempted to establish any kind of homosexual relationship/partnership with anyone. So I am now 37 years old and never dated or had any kind of partner or even had sex. I always had a longing for someone. If I have this type of relationship, I know I will be kicked out and due to having no money or job this would be problematic as I would be homeless.
I also had some legal issues in the past, I got upset in 2007 about the Iraq war and US foreign policy, so I said something online that was considered a threat against President Bush. Secret Service came and took my computer but later brought it back and did not charge me. In 2010, another post I made about US foreign policy got the attention of ATF as it was considered a threat against marines though I did not intend it that way. Then, in 2017 I made posts about Congress that caused the FBI and Capitol Police to come to my house and take my computers for forensics, I was indicted for threat against Congress and incarcerated for 4 months in jail, home confinement, and 3 years probation. I have since completed my sentence. Since I have a felony, it makes it harder to get a job, and I did apply online to thousands of jobs but due to previous blacklisting and felony conviction I was not able to get anything even fast food would not hire despite me having 2 bachelors degrees and an online MBA.
I am now having health issues, when I took Adderall as prescribed by my psychiatrist to help concentrate and after having 3 years of injections of Invega as required by the US federal probation office, I developed cardiac symptoms (left arm pain, chest pain, arrythmia heart beats, jaw pain, sweating, feelings of doom and gloom, etc). I had numerous tests and scans and was diagnosed with heart disease at age 35. Then I had liver symptoms and was diagnosed with liver inflamation/hepatitus, as it was probably caused my the pharmateucial drugs I took over the years. I have felt sick mostly everyday for the past 2 years with malaise and night sweats and pain and am still bedridden and have been bedridden since May 2020. I have been to the emergency room 26 times since May of 2020 and have visited dozens of specialists. I even went to Mayo Clinic but they didn't find anything else wrong with me and my family could not afford their costs for long.
The last problem is my father who now sees me as a burden and treats me with contempt. He either doesn't talk to me at all or is angry at me for something. He calls himself Texas and says I better not mess with Texas or I will be sorry. He says I am disgusting on how lazy and useless I am to the family and wishes he did not have to take care of me anymore. Mostly, he acts like I am not there and says things around me like I am good for nothing, etc.
So in a nutshell, my situation is that I am now 37 years old and I have no friends, no partner, no job, no money, felony conviction, family despises me, have been a target of influential criminals connected to my sociopath sister and brother-in-law who have implied they want me dead for all of my parents inheritance and house, and have serious health issues.
I would appreciate and really need some advice on what to do if you were in my situation. Please respond and help. Thanks. It is urgent.
Another health issue I am having is my left eye which bleeds frequently in the vitreous and causes left eye blindness. I have been to optometrist/opthamologist but they just say wait and see if the blood drains in the back of the eye, they say a blood vessel burst.
Sorry you got no response until now, COSIMAX505. It's because you posted again and thereby switched the thread status to having received a reply.
"I first wanted to start off with by saying that I have just turned 37 years old and it is starting to bother me that in my entire life I have had no friends."
"I was (an introvert) with social anxiety throughout schooling and college,"
"so I (kept to myself and never socialized with anyone and) have always lived with my parents."
"My parents drilled in me that friends only cause trouble"
GIANT symptom noted.
"and they would never invite any of my friends to their house."
"After college, I was unable to get any kind of job due to some of my family members being connected to organized stalking groups."
These groups, as include your Sociopathic (er) sister, basically sound like a very bored pack of Narcissists of varying degrees, to me.
You were obviously Golden Child, kept dependent on your parents and developmentally stifled so that you'd never leave home as would have left them having to properly face one another over the kitchen table, so to speak, and your sister, therefore, logically, the child that got bullied and/or neglected enough that her little mind broke, leaving her with a scary amount of resentment, anger - now hostility - violent tendencies and mercenary greed in her. (She's violent psychologically and emotionally - who knows if physically as well, with others. I imagine so, though - yes?)
However. WHATEVER. Harrassment is still Harrassment, who CARES what these seriously psychologically-disturbed individuals with too much time on their hands, hope to gain or achieve. Have you been to see the Police about it?
And what do your parents have to say about her and her husband threatening you like that? Nothing? Nothing at all?
It IS a "thing", despite many believe it isn't. But because being convinced of being followed, etc., is also a symptom of certain mental conditions and illnesses, it's very hard to prove as actually happening (see Sheridan and James, 2015 - "Complaints of group stalking ('gang stalking'): an exploratory study of their nature and impact on complainants"). It's also apparent that online trolls encourage this belief, even where it isn't and wasn't ever happening, and that genuine victims tend to band together into online support communities (have you attempted to find any?).
Your sister has made verbal threats on your life. That on its own is definitely Police actionable.
However, how do you know any such gang ACTUALLY exists, rather than your sister simply gaslighting you, intimidatingly? Or that, due to your having had a very different upbringing from the norm, your 'different-ness' puts employers who can't comfortably pigeonhole you, off, just for that reason alone?
Not saying your case isn't true, but I'm asking what concrete evidence you've witnessed yourself, without any influence or input on hers and her husband's part?
You realise they're simply trying to grind you down until you either expire or abandon your life, yes? Well, I see no difference between that and murder, save for their speed of execution - do you?
Other than the Police or your doctor, I can't really suggest much. I don't know that much about America, its departments (never heard of AFT, for example), or how they operate, and this gang-stalking is, I understand, predominantly an American phenomenon, fairly new. Wouldn't you get better support, therefore, from a US website?
However, what I CAN offer is: I would have thought not having a beau would be the LEAST of your worries. Why would you want to drag an innocent
person into such a disturbing roomful of seething issue-ridden Narcissists?
If you find the idea of telling the Police too daunting, your other, safer option is to confide in your regular doctor or practise nurse there. I imagine with the amount of people and problems coming before them, daily for decades, they can tell when someone's a genuine victim as opposed to paranoid-delusional-but-genuinely-convinced, quite easily. But, regardless, your doctor would definitely be able to prescribe something to improve your mood and thereby ability to cope, which would be a great first step in your attempt to escape and recover.
Hope that helps a tiny bit?