I accidentally hit a child, what do I do?
I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (22M) for almost a year now. I was hanging out with his sister-in-law (19F), and his sisters (17F and 20F) while my boyfriend was busy. His SIL has a two-year-old boy that I have grown very close to and love. I was sitting on the couch when the little boy jumped on top of my head with a sucker in his mouth. I was afraid he would choke so I told him he can’t do that. In return, he jolted away from me. I playfully tried to slap his diaper as he jolted away, and I accidentally hit his leg. He began crying and everyone was dead silent. His mother said “yeah, don’t do that again.” After he settled down, he played with me like nothing happened. I felt terrible. Once his mother and I were alone, I apologized to her saying it was an accident. She said it was okay and we talked like normal. I still cannot help but feel so guilty. I would never use physically violence as discipline. The slap was rather a joke than me actually trying to hurt him since other family members hit his padded diaper as well. The sister (20F) is still not talking to me. This happened yesterday. I cried myself to sleep thinking about it and the guilt is ripping me apart!!! What do I do?
You explained that it was a mistake and meant to be a playful pat. Nothing else you can do. They either accept it or they don't.
Can't force people to stop pretending to be a victim.
Ahem. Kids know, and this one was playing the family. I saw my neighbor once gently swat his daughter on the diaper and tell her he was disappointed, go to her room - you'd have thought it was the end of the world, the way she was bawling. I had seen the two of them just a couple days before, and him joking, "I'm gonna beat you" and whacking her kinds hard on her diaper. They were both laughing. It was a joke.
I don't have kids - should toddlers even HAVE suckers? And - he jumped *ON YOUR HEAD*? Somebody should have taken him aside and let him settle down - he certainly shouldn't be jumping on people's heads.
Sounds to me like the kid's mother hasn`t thought (or hasn't had time?) to tell the others that you made a point of apologising and explaining your mistake?
Can you text her, to ensure she knows this? - as in, "I don't know if you're aware but I did apologise to SIL, shortly after in the kitchen(/wherever), to reassure her that I'd been aiming to pat his nappy, like the rest of you tend to do, but missed and got his leg, and that she understood and is okay about it?". If after that, 20F still seems to have a problem with you, then, well, it must have pre-existed the patting incident and be due to something you're not even aware of (which would make it her problem if it's not something she wants to confront) - in which case, avoid interacting directly with her as much as possible and focus on the others.
PS: that sort of accident happens a lot - to everyone.
PPS: I don't suppose 20F used to be the toddler's favourite before you came on the scene, and might be feeling you're a threat to her relationship with him?
PPPS: What did your boyfriend have to say about 20F's attitude over this?
He knows that 20F can be a handful at times so he said not to worry about it. He knows I would never hurt the child so he has told me that it will all be fine. She has started talking to me more now and the mother has even invited me over to the house so I think everything is much better! Thank you for responding!
Sorry for the delay!
Oh, GOOD, I'm really pleased for you! And thanks for giving us closure. (Happy Ending, hurrah! LOL)