Fallen out with my mum & now everyone thinks I’m the AH. Am I?
A few months ago I had an argument with my mum. She basically implied that she didn’t like my daughter and questioned my parenting skills. In return I commented that I wouldn’t take parenting advice from her as 50% of her children have mental health problems. We apologised after calming down but I couldn’t shake what she had said. The next day she spoke to my sister (who I’m close to) and told her I’d said “I wouldn’t take advice off you after how the other two turned out”.
My sister confronted me and I told her what I actually said, but apologised for bringing her mental health into an argument with our mum. I didn’t speak to my mum for a couple of days but she knew I was annoyed still. She rang me and I told her that I was upset that she had twisted my words to use against me and cause a rift with my sisters. I was also upset about what she had said about my daughter. She told me she’d had enough of me and to not speak to her again. My siblings with MH problems treat her awfully but she always forgives them so she can see her grandkids. I blocked her and deleted her from all social media. Surprisingly she hasn’t asked to see my daugter in all this time.
Since then my sister has been trying to get us to speak again but I’m not interested really. Plus my sister is going on holiday with our mum (paid by mum) so she won’t say a bad word against her at the minute. Last week it was my birthday. No one from my mums side of the family even text me. Turns out my mum has been badmouthing me & my daughter and telling people I’m ignoring her and she’s texting me all the time even though i unblocked her weeks ago and proved that nothing has been sent to me since the original argument.
My sister passed a present in from my mum, she gave me a bag she that originally bought herself but changed her mind about. I text to say thanks. But my sister said I’m ungrateful for complaining about it. Needless to say, it got heated and now we’re not taking either. I feel like I’m falling out with everyone at the minute and don’t know if I’m justified or just stubborn.
Sounds like narcissistic behavior from your family. I have dealt with similar things for years. I finally had to say "enough" and there was a big blowout where nobody talked to each other for a few months. I reached out to give them a second chance, that lasted about 2 weeks. And I had to cut them off for good.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is walk away.