Should I remove my name from title deeds after 25 years and 3 chidren
I have been with may partner for 25 years and we have 3 children together, about 15 years ago I had a Car accident which ended in a fatalaty (Not my fault) This sent me in to a long bout of depression and me bing put on antidipresents
Our relationship started to breakdown ew held it together untill our youngest had reached 16 at which poit I decided with my partners agreement that We were no longer able to live in under the same roof. I moved out and now rent a flat.
My exe partner wants asked me to have y name removed fromed the title deeds to our house becouse she thought I would legaly force her to sell to get my half of the value of the property. I initialy agreed but for one reason or another it's taken ages to sort out and my name is still on the deeds at the moment.
She has said to me that if I take my name of the house deeds she will give me an agreed sum (roughthley a third of the value of our house)
she has now inherited her farthers house and sold it. Now she is suggesting that she buys a flat for me initialy saying she would put it in my name but now saying she wants to keep it in her name, but allow me to livi in it for the cost of the upkeep (Maintinance only)
She says the receson she wants to keep it in her name is she doesnt trust that I will not do somthing foolish and blow the money rather than keep it in a property for me to live in
Our relationship broke down becouse of lack of trust and mutual respect for one another, from her side I am irrisponsible and rash and unfathfull ( I had a brief exploration with two other relationships while going through my dipression, that didnt amount to anything and didnt involve sex).
I have never beeen very good with money, From my side She has tried to treated me as another one of her cheildren and has never realy treated me as an equal.
I have asked my Landlord if he will sell me the flat that I am living in. He has agreed and given me a price. The issue now is do I agree to remve myself from the title deeds of the family house in exchange for her buying a place for me to live in (but not in my name) or do I insist that she puts the flat in my name in exchange for me removing my name form her property?
We Still get on ok and wish to remain friends, my youngest daughter satys =with me for half of the time.
Not knowing whether there is more truth to your claim (or her claim that you've willingly believed?) of your being bad with money (to an insinuated degree of, it not being SAFE in your hands) than there is in a perfectly reasonable suspicion based on all you've written, that this woman might be trying to sweet-talk (con) you out of your legal, rightful share of the money - I can only tell you what I'd do and not do in your shoes (REGARDLESS of ANYTHING, let alone mere promises!):
1. Where large sums of money are involved, such as bricks & mortar, I always hire a solicitor. If I didn't, I would be leaving myself open to being swindled. With large amounts like that, I just wouldn't even go there (there being Risk City).
It's called, Not Hiring A Solicitor Is Not Worth The Giant Risk And Is A Wholly False Economy.
A solicitor is legally duty bound (i.e. answerable to the highest power in the land) to ensure that each spouse/partner gets what they are legally entitled to, in the context of the nature of the union and their serious input, SO THAT EVERYONE *CAN* REMAIN FRIENDS IF THEY WANT TO!...Because nobody (sane) is left feeling cheated and resentful at anyone.
Hiring a solicitor is a person's way of ENSURING relations (particularly for the sake of the kids) can remain amicable after the divorce. Put another way: Hiring a solicitor *is* what one who truly cares automatically does when one wants to be Fair (aka Nice).
You don't have to believe or place faith in a solicitor = No Risk.
You do have to believe and have faith your (emotionally, already) EX...partner, that she even means what she promises or, when it came down to it, would even fulfil those promises = Huge Risk....potentially Financially Suicidal(!).
Unless you have a gambling addiction or something as would make you a financial LIABILITY - what she's proposing is that you get ZERO cash out of this permanent separation while she gets it all (as well as her inheritance*). And that what you do get is: her as your landlady, with the legal right to make you homeless any time she likes - or just with the ability to use that threat whenever she wants in order to make you do her constant bidding.
(*If you're unmarried, I doubt you will have any claim to this, by the way. However, the law may have changed - plus I don't know which country you're in - so that's something else to check with a solicitor.)
So - YES, CANCEL THE REMOVAL OF YOUR NAME FROM THE DEEDS, LEAVE IT ON THERE.
Hope that helped?
PS: Ask the solicitor you appoint to recommend a small firm of Accountants/Financial Advisers for domestic clients such as yourself, who lack normal, everyday money-management skills. If you appoint one of those, you'll soon learn. If you couldn't afford one, however, then I would visit various money-management advice websites to find out how to work out and stick to a monthly budget. Once you'd got that down pat, you could move up to finding out easy, low-risk ways of investing and growing some of your money.
PPS: Your solicitor or barrister can quite easily gain the two of you a Court Order that allows she and your daughter to remain in the house until your daughter hits 18 or permanently leaves home (whichever is soonest), WHEREUPON, the house can be liquidated and split equally between both spouses/partners. I'm sure I'm right in saying that, should you meantime be without income to live on, you could immediately release part of its equity for a cash sum (Equity Release). I'm surprised Mrs Legal Expert, Not Biased Towards Herself At All didn't know that. (Scuse sarcasm)
PPPS: Alternatively, if it IS true that your share would not be at all safe in your hands and would get frittered away within 5 minutes flat, then, in addition, there is what's called Power Of Attorney, whereby, you decide and they get it done for you, i.e. act on your behalf, (but can't steal from you). Again, a solicitor specialises in all of this stuff. (So - ditto the above sarcastic query.)
"do I insist that she puts the flat in my name in exchange for me removing my name form her property?"
No. You appoint a solicitor and THEY "insist" (court-ordain) and ENSURE that the flat is in your name in exchange for your removing your name (which removal is not done until your name is legally recorded against the deeds of the flat).
But - what do you mean HER property?