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To train or not to train?

DOUBLESAGGQUEEN profile image
Is this even a training issue? I know relationships take work and no one is a perfect partner because no one is a perfect human. However my partner misses the chance every time I present a bid for attention/love and it makes me feel like they genuinely don't care about anything I have going on in life. To top it off when roles are reversed his feelings are hurt if I don't catch his bids like listening to his day at work or executing a task that I know will make his life easier. I feel like I have made it clear that it hurts my feelings when he doesn't care about what I'm talking about even if it's nonsensical yet he can't comprehend the why. He only sees "I just don't care about what type of noodles you bought for dinner" not that it shows overall lack of care Someone tell me how to speak in man & communicate this lol

To train or not to train?

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If I got the idea that my partner was trying to "train" me, I'd be gone. I guess you'd be "training" me, too, because I don't have a lot of patience with nonsensical chatter. Listening to someone vent about a bad day - or better yet, problem solving if possible/necessary, does interest me. Happy to do it. I'm happy to do things to make my partner's life easier. Those do show care. I would not care about noodles, either, but would be interested in what needs to be done to turn the noodles into a full meal, and which of us will be doing that. If your partner hasn't matured sufficiently to be polite and listen to you, or do things that make life with him more pleasant, maybe it's time for you to move on. If I discovered a partner explaining I needed "training," I'd make that decision for him/her. Mot caring about minutia doesn't indicate an overall lack of care. When you talk about more weighty subjects, does he engage with you? Does he listen and remember?

To train or not to train?

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Hi there Doublesaggqueen, I need more data. "Is this even a training issue? I know relationships take work and no one is a perfect partner because no one is a perfect human. However my partner misses the chance every time I present a bid for attention/love and it makes me feel like they genuinely don't care about anything I have going on in life. To top it off when roles are reversed his feelings are hurt if I don't catch his bids like listening to his day at work or executing a task that I know will make his life easier. I feel like I have made it clear that it hurts my feelings when he doesn't care about what I'm talking about even if it's nonsensical yet he can't comprehend the why. He only sees "I just don't care about what type of noodles you bought for dinner" not that it shows overall lack of care Someone tell me how to speak in man & communicate this lol" 1. Describe all the various "bids" you're referring to? Are they exclusively about communicating and sharing thoughts/feelings/experiences/getting to safely let off steam about people/events or are you suffering any other imbalances or inequalities in other areas of this relationship and this is just the main one? 2. How long have you been dating? 3. Has he said he loves you? 4. Do you live together? 5. Why on earth would you think you should waste your time having to train a grown man on how to behave like a normally-talkative intimate partner, anyway? Would you do that to your feet - SHOEHORN them into a pair of ill-fitting shoes that caused you daily pain? And is he having to train YOU - and about such vital basics - so that HE doesn't feel conversationally short-changed and made insecure? Doesn't sound like it? 6. How old is he? And you? 7. What job does he do? 8. Was he more talkative during dating and then the Honeymoon period?

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