A dirty little secret
SUNLOVER - Sep 11 2022 at 00:34
I've been with my partner for a year (F47 M50) I spend on average 3 nights a week at his. I'm spoilt rotten when I go there. When we're apart he messages and calls. Is constantly telling me he loves me, that I'm amazing, beautiful, sexy and clever, and that he's lucky to be with me.
Sounds brilliant doesn't it? This is my problem.
In the year we've been together we've been out 3 times. I haven't met a single friend or family member. When I try to talk to him he either gets defensive or tells me I'm being naughty.
I've asked him if he's embarrassed by me, he says he's not. I can't get my head around it. I believe it's something to do with his daughters, who are about 19 & 26.
He is everything to me, but I'm not prepared to be hidden anymore, but I want to give him the opportunity to change this.
I could really do with some ideas of what to say to him without alienating him. And I love to hear if has experienced this situation
Hate to say it, but it may be time for an ultimatum. Either you are part of his life "completely" or you aren't a part of his life at all.
Thank you, you've confirmed by fears! It will be given
"I could really do with some ideas of what to say to him without alienating him."
Why? Why would you worry about alienating someone who is hiding you from his family?
The longer you stay in this situation the more you will resent. Ask to make a plan to meet family or friends. That you would like to know his family and friends. Give him realistic timeframe to arrange, maybe 2/3 weeks. If all he wants is for you to be indoors together, this is not relationship. He is clearly become used to that situation as you have allowed it. Only you can make it change by your actions. Take care
I love watching how different girls assert themselves in film.
I love how different girls live different lives based on how they assert themselves.
Keep an eye on it in films and grow your true nature.
Train yourself to be….
Answering that question alone is a powerful start to building your path.
I'm sure that would be really helpful, but I haven't watched a film for over 35 years....
AKA and Candyfloss
Ultimatum was given...it expired yesterday. There has been no resolution, as my dad has been on end of life care at home since last Thursday and I'm doing the night shift. Everything else is on the back burner
I guess I'm confused.
An ultimatum was given.
He did not agree to your ultimatum.
Therefore, it is over and resolved. There is no back burner, unless your ultimatum was meaningless and you're going to continue to see him - on HIS terms.
I'm sorry about your father.
I am at my parents, caring for dad . Was unable to go out for lunch to meet his family. That's why not resolved x
So, he waited until you were unavailable to arrange a meeting with his family. Brilliant.