He took me for granted now wants another chance
Hi, my boyfriend and i are on a break. We started dating officially at the end of May but we started experiencing issues. I noticed he started pulling away from me, i was barely getting messages or calls from him. I would barely see him maybe twice a month. There was no other women involved. It felt like he was taking me for granted. After giving him a couple chances to fix it, i just got tired and "ended" it.
Now he wants another chance to try again because before he said he was feeling insecure in himself and if he really could be the person for me. and if he was good enough for me and if i was really into him. Which i am. I tried to be supportive and understanding and everything positive in his life but he took it for granted.
There was a situation where i went to see him at his night shift job to drop something for him to eat and he was moving funny.. so i repeatedly asked him what the issue was and he never told me. So obviously i started overthinking.. what do i do; i feel like i cant forgive him, every time i try to i remember all the hurt and i just mute him again..
Not a great start to a relationship where he’s all cold and awkward with you. And it’s hurtful what he’s doing. That damages your self esteem and confidence. I mean it doesn’t sounds like he’s ready to be in a relationship if he’s really struggling with insecurities or mature enough. These are all red flags.
He’s had 5 months and you said you’ve given him a few chances. It’s very easy for someone to talk and promise that they’ll be a better person and change but he needs to actually show you.
How do you know there isn’t another women involved? Was he working a lot? What was he doing? He needs to do some explaining imo.
It really did and does affect my confidence, because what im trying to explain to him now is, how i opened up before, every time i try to do so now i stop myself because i dont want to be hurt again.
Yes he was working a lot. His job is 6 days a week from 6 pm to 6 am and his only day off is wednesday. I've tried to be understanding about his job but after a few months i wanted to see him more which wasn't possible.
This guy sounds like he doesn't know what he wants or needs, but it's your decision as to whether you need to be with him. He's stepped away, but all you have from him is white noise & negative actions which tell you something's not right. His words of wondering whether he's good enough for you tells you where he's at. He doesn't know because his life is basically all work at the moment.
Barely seeing the guy twice a month doesn't bode well for any relationship & if you guys don't share any values & standards & you're not on the same page, then it's time to follow your gut & get on with your life without him.
Thanks Manalone, i agree that he doesn't know what he wanted however NOW he is saying he wants another chance to switch things up and show me that it could work out etc. There are times where i would miss him and then my brain would say like "what do you miss?" Never used to see him or talk to him much etc, he never kept his word, so what do you miss?
So now im stuck between wanting to try again and just giving up