Should I stay or go?
JAC9292 - Dec 23 2022 at 21:55
Right now I am a single mom living on disability and working part time. I don't have my license and don't have help practicing to drive and I am not sure I can get my license on my own. I live in a small town in Saskatchewan with not many opportunities. I live in rent geared to income housing for now but when my daughter is older we will have to leave.
My main fear is that I won't be able to afford an apartment in the future nor will my daughter. And if I dont get my license I wont be able to get a Uhaul and there are no moving services here.
I recently started talking to her father again after 6 years and he said we could live with him. He has always loved our daughter but we would fight sometimes and he hit me before. Back then I always did what my mom told me and she never liked him and convinced me to move to Saskatchewan with her.
My daughter and I are lonely and I am poor. There aren't many good courses at the college here and I don't know if I can get a good job out here. She does have some friends at school. I have nobody and it is incredibly lonely. I also am very lazy and depressed and dont know if I am the best role model for my daughter.
If I move in with her father I will be leaving everything behind and be paying more rent to him. I dont mind working and my plan is to work and save to learn to drive and get a car and go to school where there is more options. I would have a better chance of doing those things out there because there is way more resources and opportunities.
The only thing is I would be relying on him for a place to stay. So if something happened to him I would become homeless. But I might become homeless out here in the future anyway. And there is a chance we might fight again and it could traumatize my daughter. And my daughter would leave her friends behind
But if it worked out I could take advantage of more opportunities and get in a better place financially and my daughter would have her father in her life and he is not as depressed and lazy as me.
I want to go because I need help and opportunities but I am worried about a few things. What sounds like the best option
Moving back with the ex is a big decision. You want the child to be around the father as much as possible, but it is not fair for the child to see arguing and abuse. Gives off the wrong education. Good luck. Hope it all works out for you
I agree with JOERN.
I'd have thought the solution were two-fold:
1. Given you'll be paying him rent, ensure he gives you a contract. And/or never pay by cash (nor bank xfer), UNLESS you get yourself a little rent book, which you get him to sign every time, literally seconds before you then hand your cash over. Either way provides you proof of being a paying tenant with rightful legal protections (so he can't chuck you out on a bad-tempered whim).
2. If he gets aggressive again, this time you phone the Police - which, ideally, you should have done the first time, albeit that I've been there and get how it's never that simple. However - a second time? MAKE it that simple.
You discuss those two potential scupperers BEFORE you move.
Lastly, couldn't your mum or daughter's father hire a truck to help with the removals?