I am 22(f) and my partner is 21(m). I have recently found messages between him and another person and when I confronted him about it he admitted he thinks he's bisexual and was talking to the person to understand and see if he is actually into men.My inner conflict with the issue is that I have no problem about him being bisexual and trying to figure out his sexuality my problem is that he didn't tell me and was talking to someone behind my back so my problem is the cheating but I'm also trying to be understanding because I know it's usually difficult to come out. So now I don't know if I should just leave him and let him be on this journey alone or if I should stay?
What do you want for YOUR primary relationship?
Do you want to be in a polyamorous situation? Do you want to be with someone who has other lovers?
Ideally, feeling this way, he *should have,* come to you, said "I have this conflict in my heart / soul / whatever, and I need to be alone while I sort this out." But that would mean giving up the bird in the hand, so to speak (you, who cares for him and provides companionship / love / sex / maybe financial assistance?)
I don't see this as fundamentally different from any other Big Life Issue, in some ways. There are deal-breakers in relationships. Sometimes one person wants children and the partner doesn't. Maybe someone's dream is to run a dairy farm, and the other person can't envision living anyplace but a big city. It doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong, but it does mean that those two particular people aren't a match.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I'd do, with 40 more years of experience in life. I'd sadly let someone go and figure this out for himself. I could be his friend, wish him well, but I function best in a monogamous relationship. I wouldn't be "dating" someone seriously who didn't know if he wanted to partner with a woman for his life. I don't want a lover splitting his time between me and someone else. You have your own life to live - and it wouldn't be fair to YOU to abandon what YOU want just so you can say, "I don't want to be judgmental." It's not about that. You're worthy of the life YOU want.