The worst mother
MTAEW18 - Jan 29 2023 at 08:40
So I have a friend and now a roommate who gave birth to a girl a couple years ago. Now my roommate is an alcoholic and boy crazy. She dates guys for a few weeks and then she gets drunk then ends up getting broken up with. When she’s drinking, she becomes the absolute worst person saying a bunch of crap about how the other person did something or something happened. Whenever she goes on binges, she’s awake the entire night and almost til 8-10 in the morning. This leaves her 2 year old daughter if I’m not there, basically unsupervised cause her mother is passed out. When I am there, I’m babysitting her for hours on end while her mother sleeps. There have been a couple of instances that have been horrible. One of the times I babysat while she went to go caregiving at one of her ex clients houses who is also an alcoholic . It was supposed to be like a 3 hour trip in all, she left at 12 and didn’t come back until 8. Another instance, she drove her kid to daycare drunk. Tonight was like one of the worst and she’s sober this time. So she had a date tonight with a guy and so I watch the kid. She says it will only be a couple hours and 5 goes by. She then tells me that she will be out for a while and will stop by the apartment to get something before heading out again. She tells me to turn the security camera on and she will come home if the kids sets it off. I can’t imagine what would’ve become of the 2 year old if I wasn’t here. I’m debating whether to call cps or not. If I’m looking after the kid cause she asked me then that counts as babysitting for giving the mom a break and might not count as neglect so idk. Any advice?
Calling CPS is a very serious matter, and should not be taken lightly. It is important to understand that you do not have the legal authority to make that decision on your roommate’s behalf. You should talk to your roommate about your concerns and make sure she understands the gravity of the situation. You should also ask her if there are any other people or family members that she could rely on to watch her daughter in the future. If your roommate is not open to discussing the matter seriously and making changes, then you may need to consider calling CPS. However, it is important to understand that this is a very serious decision and could significantly impact your roommate’s life and her relationship with her daughter. If you do decide to make the call, be prepared to provide as much detail as possible about the situation.
I have questions, if you please? :-)
1. "BOY-crazy"? How old is she (and you)?
1. Also, when and why did she become your room-mate?
3. And for what length of time had she and you been friends prior to her moving in?
4. Why did she need to move in? Where had she come from?
5. Does she pay you rent and share costs/bills?
6. Does she have a job, even part-time, or is she on benefits? (And what country are you in?) I'm asking because you said, went to give caregiving to an EX-client. So I'm unclear?
7. "she left at 12 and didn’t come back until 8"
Is that, 12 Midday until 8pm?
8. "I can’t imagine what would’ve become of the 2 year old if I wasn’t here."
We need to talk about what's called Enabling.
Well, anyway, she sounds like she's taking advantage of you, to point, now, of, taking the bleedin' piss. But I still need to know the above because as ChatTheGreenMile points out - this is a very delicate situation that needs a lot of consideration, planning and finesse. To ensure success i.e. where everyone's a winner, requires CUSTOMISED handling. And I also agree that the woman should be given fair warning. But this very conversation, will be the trickiest bit that needs extra-special attention and preparation...not least, so that you can approach it with resolve and confidence that what you are doing is, absolutely, the right thing for all concerned.
(ROFL!...just noticed my numbering! My cue to go to bed, methinks.)
9. Where's the child's father?
10. Where are your room-mate's parents/relatives?