PeoplesProblems Logo

Girl won't leave my boyfriend alone

Default profile image
I have been dating Bob for 5 years long distance. We have had a rocky road, but we both love each other and finally have a chance to live closer and get to know each other again. In the last semester of school, Bob met Sally, a freshman who had a lot of family home problems. Bob has always had a heart for being there for people so he let her tell him everything. One drunken night Bob slept with Sally and I found out this summer. It happened a few times. Bob did not "love" Sally but found her sexually appealing a few times when she was confiding in him. After I found out about Sally, I also learned that she had suicidal problems. Bob is trying to limit contact with Sally and told her that he and I are working things out, but Sally won't leave him alone. I want to believe Bob, that he is telling the truth to her, that he has no further interest in their "fling", but I still see a lot of texts from Sally. Ones saying I love you and miss you every day. bob doesnt reply but she doesnt seem to get the point. And she wants to continue skyping with him. I have thought about hiring a private investigator. Sending her an anonymous message saying something or confronting him (which I have kind of already done). I just want her out of our lives so that we can truly focus on us. Thanks

Girl won't leave my boyfriend alone

Default profile image
I can understand why he's into helping her and such, but she really needs to go -- for your sake and the relationship's. Bob may probably feel slightly obligated to help her out, as he has done so for so long, and they have had some history together, but for how long will this continue? Even if he were with someone else other than you, and have Sally poking her nose in here and there, it'd be detrimental to the relationship. So, she needs to go -- and fast. He needs to shut her down and find another friend or someone who will take care of Sally. She is simply too attached to him to let go, and since she's suicidal, her attached feelings are too high to let go. But in all honesty, if he isn't going to get rid of her, you're going to have to separate from him for a while, and see if you still want to be in the relationship, and if he finds it important enough to save, because nobody wants to tolerate Sally, no matter how depressing her life may be -- she's destructive enough to have you come onto this website to leave your story for help (which I'm glad you did). And I can tell that you really like this guy, but you don't have to sit through this. Just see where he wants to be, and if he's willing to get rid of her. If not, at least have him talk to her about how she shouldn't develop feelings for him or flirt or anything, and to speak in terms of friendship and friendship only. He has a life with you and you want to be happy together, without her disrupting it. She needs a lot of help, but Bob cannot ever truly save her unless he gets into a relationship with her. So it's either you or her.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2