I’ve lost feelings.
CHICKENLEGS - Mar 8 2023 at 03:49
I’ve known and liked this guy for over a year now, we both share the same feelings etc etc but I knew I’m not ready to go into that sort of thing. People I’ve known are now starting to pair us together, and I’m starting to get uncomfortable because of it. Because of that, now I feel like I might have lost feelings towards him. Should I just tell him I lost feelings or not?
You might as well. It's better to
Hello Chickenlegs: when you say that you are not ready to go into "that sort of thing", it sounds to me that the-sort-of-thing you are referring to is some sort of an imprisonment, something that you experienced before: being stuck with a person. Personally, having been stuck with my mother for way too long made me fear being stuck with ANYONE, in any context. Is it something you can relate to?
It would be a kindness to tell him sooner rather than later. If you're feeling a distance and he's not, you no longer 'share the same feelings.'
This is what dating is for: to see how our goals and lifestyle pair (or don't!) with other people. You will likely have all kinds of different friends. Our friends' careers, spending habits, whether they drink or smoke or want children or not doesn't affect us the way a partner's choices do. Maybe you're 'feeling' something about the differences between you and this person? Or maybe you just don't want a serious relationship right now?
It's daunting to think about but, most romances aren't going to be "till death do us part." Most of us are going to date, associate, have several relationships before we meet the person we want to spend our life with. Be honest and compassionate with your friend. False hope is not kind.