Struggling mentally lately, getting older and seem to be stuck in a rut and struggling to cope with life in general. Seem to be drinking & gambling more to try & cope with things.
Hello Labradorpaws: when you say that you are stuck in a rut, you mean that your life is like waking up to the same "Groundhog Day" (as in the movie), stuck in the same day, no longer waking up to a fresh new day? If so, please tell me more about it, how it feels to be stuck that way (I was stuck in the same day for many years myself).
Pretty much, Groundhog day a reasonable description, work, chores, sleep, rinse, repeat, not enough energy to do anything else, little motivation, always tired, gambling as a form of entertainment, drinking to relax, (know they both aren't) getting older (only 51) I have a reasonably physical job which takes a lot out of me at the moment
Hello again Labradorpaws:
I have this memory of a beautiful new day (not at all a groundhog day) and I think you will be able to relate to it. The memory is of me- a child- running on green grass under a warm, bright sun.. running with excitement in my heart. Maybe I was running toward something I wanted to reach, maybe a treehouse on the other side of the green grass, anticipating climbing it.. maybe there were kids I wanted to play with.
Can relate to such childhood carefree joy?
Certain people and events in my life, over time, robbed that child's joy of living, that excitement about a new day and positive anticipation of things to happen, and I became a very sad little girl=> teenager=> adult, consumed by feelings of shame and guilt and a general tension, unease aka anxiety.
Do you relate to some or all of what I wrote above?
It took me a long time to peel off the shame and guilt, and calm that anxiety enough to feel- the other day (maybe a week ago, the late morning sun was bright).. to WANT to run on green grass.. only I am older than you and I don't know how to run anymore (I get my aerobic exercise fast walking), plus running (even if I somehow made it happen) would be bad for my knees.. I don't want to escalate their aging-related deterioration.
But the desire to run was there, a feeling of lightness and excitement in my heart.
You wrote: "work, chores, sleep, rinse, repeat, not enough energy to do anything else, little motivation, always tired... getting older (only 51)"- in my imagery, the child running on green grass, running toward something: there is passion in that child's heart, an anticipation of something NEW and EXCITING; but in your heart, there is no passion, no positive excitement. It's tiring to live life without these two things.
"gambling is a form of entertainment"- this is mostly the extent of New and Exciting that the child within-you is getting, is it? Could there be something else new and exciting.. for you?
Hello Amie, thankyou for replying, a lot of what you say is resonating with me, I'm glad you're in a better place now, I seem to struggle a lot in winter months, hopefully the longer days will break the cycle, I am involved with a sports club in the summer months so have that to look forward to, but at the moment, everything is an effort/chore when it shouldn't be, think you're right about needing positive passion/excitement, as I've got a little older that seems to be diminishing, not a lot to look forward to even though in reality I know there is plenty to look forward to, but need to try & find it somehow. Again thankyou for listening
Hello again, Labradorpaws:
You are welcome and thank you for saying that you are glad I am in a better place. I hope that you too will be in a better place sooner than later (and during the winter as well). Look for that something to look forward to: an interest/ passion that you didn't think about for a long time, one that has been dormant for years.. and that which you can awaken.
Thankyou for your words of wisdom, they are much appreciated, it does help knowing that things can/will get better, as it has thankfully for yourself. I will try to be more positive and find things to do instead of excuses not to do them. Again thankyou for listening and replying to these messages, it has certainly helped me and hopefully I will have a better mindset soon. I hope you continue to flourish and enjoy yourself whatever you do.
You are very welcome, Larbradorpaws. Mental struggles (the title of your thread) or not, your kindness shines through.. I wonder if it is your special brand of kindness that will lead you to a new (or old/ new) passion or interest.
You are welcome to post anytime, and for as long as I am a member here, I will be glad to reply whenever you post.