Struggle in life due to health
As was teenager i was very good student in class. i was best in science field.
at class eight (13 age) some bad happened to me i got brain stoke i used to be out control making loud noise. Resulting all other student even don't want to talk to me.
simply sitting in corner struggle with study and heavy dose of medicine.
there was no friend for me to whom i can discuss my problem/share feeling.
in home parents are too much upset by health issue i don't want to make them more sorrow by sharing my feeling . Stoke used happen every week even this information my parent was not knowing about. i stopped playing outside, even to shop to buy any good
I lost my self confidence totally.i used to feel bad(comfortable) talking to other
people i used to live fear. there was no friend to share something. student used to make fun of me. i used to laugh with them but inside i was crying
i almost felt to have a suicide to end this problem. but last movement i stopped because of mom voice. there was heavy drug medicine results in weak memory lazy person dull face so not able to manage my study well. so i have skip my medicine to improve my study but it increase the chance of stokes. in tutions also many issue. able to complete my school with good marks. in btech engineering same thing but stoke frequency reduced. no good friend as in school
able to complete b.tech engg with so low confidence/health issue i was not able to do any job. so tried doing M.Tech engg with some luck and hard work got in good college there my condition went bad. there was bad stoke result 4-5 days in hospital causing heavy drugs. study are more tough. i was doing worst in my class then i stopped taking drugs to concentrate more on study. there was not much information sharing with parents on this. able to complete mtech with avg marks after struggle got a job in company and health is OK.
seeing back in my history feels there was no friend/girlfriend, fun of life
looks like bad life. today i am so hard that not able to feel happy and sad.
not able make any friends, weak in communication,personalty
I never spoke to a girl personally so i am able talk with them comfortably.
i lost the definition about fun,happy.
please help me on this.(suggest)
You are always going to have people in your life that make you feel bad about yourself, there is nothing you can do about that. You have to believe in yourself and have the confidence to say hey I'm a person too and I'm no different from anyone else. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and yes it is a risk and sometimes you can get hurt but there is always that chance of finding someone that sees you for you and can look past all the other stuff. Talk to your parents don't hide things because you may not know this but hiding things from them worries them even more because then they have to wonder and their mind is never at rest. Try putting yourself out there you never know what might happen, at least you're putting effort in on your end. Good Luck
I want to say to you that although you feel you have no personality, you have a lovely personality! You have already told me that you were good at science at school, you went to a good college and managed to get a job with your degree. You also show you care about your family which is a very attractive quality in a person. I can also tell that you are a very strong person, not just because of the things you've been through but the way you can still see the positives, like that you were the best in science and that your health is ok. You should realize your achievements and accept that people just don't like succesful people because they make them feel bad about themselves, it just shows you're doing good when people don't like you! Look to the future!