I recently got ghosted by a guy I met through a dating app and im having a hard time coping.
We had been talking for about a month. We called many times and our calls lasted hours and we went on two dates. Both dates seemed to go well.The second date involved holding hands and kissing. A few days after our second date he asked me out on another date but said he wasn't sure when exactly it would be because he was very busy with school. Two days later I tried to send him a message asking how he was and I noticed my message wouldn't deliver. I then sent a message on discord asking if everything was alright and then he deleted me on there as well.
I keep trying to figure out what happened, a sign I missed, something I might have said or done to make him want to leave without saying why. I don't understand why he would tell me he felt like we really connected and ask me on another date and then ghost me just two days later.
Men are dogs.
He may be married. He may just not have what it takes to be in a relationship. He may have been dating several people and decided to pursue just one. The courteous thing to do would have been to tell you - whatever the explanation - in a kind, straightforward way. "I don't think we have enough in common to make a relationship work...I've met someone who I think is a better match...I've decided I'm really not in a position emotionally/ financially to pursue a relationship."
I heard all those, usually preceded by, "It was nice meeting you, but..." Most simply didn't call again.
I had a man talk with me several times, (we hadn't met) made a couple dates to meet and something came up each time. We finally decided on a third attempt to meet. He was a no call/no show. I got home and there was an email from him. The man who - his words - 'couldn't wait to meet' me wrote that he had rekindled an old romance. Less than two weeks later he answered another ad I put on Craig's List.
It's hard not to take it personally, but after two dates, he didn't know you, so he couldn't reject YOU. Treating people badly reflects on the rude person. It's nothing to do with the people they victimize.
Scoozie quick interruption:
1. "Men are dogs."
Whoops (lol)...let's not alienate all the lovely men, vets and owner included, that we get on here, yeh?
Edit: *Hard-hearted, selfish and self-obsessed, all the way to actual NPD* men are dogs.
(That's better...As you were. :))
2. "but after two dates, he didn't know you, so he couldn't reject YOU."
"Treating people badly reflects on the rude person."
Damn right! Particularly, unprovoked!
"It's nothing to do with the people they victimize."
Couldn't agree more. It never was, never is, and never will be - fact!...
...Amen / Awomen (delete as necessary, lol).
I apologize. I should not have painted with such a broad brush - it was unfair and it was a dis-service to actual canines.
Dating was hard. I didn't have a lot of dates, and one week I was stood up twice. I'm not bitter about it, though. Much.
HAHAHAHAHA! GOOD ANSWER!
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through the pain of being ghosted. It can be incredibly confusing and hurtful when someone you've invested time and emotions into suddenly disappears without explanation. It's natural to search for answers and question yourself, wondering what went wrong or if you missed any signs.
However, it's important to remember that ghosting is a reflection of the other person's actions and not a reflection of your worth or value. It's not your fault that this person chose to handle the situation in such a hurtful way.
In times like these, it's important to focus on self-care and healing. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family members who can provide comfort and understanding. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up, whether it's sadness, confusion, or frustration. It's okay to grieve the loss of what you thought could have been a potential connection.
Remember that this experience does not define your worth or your ability to find meaningful connections in the future. It's just one person's actions, and there are many kind and genuine individuals out there who will appreciate and reciprocate your efforts.
Take this as an opportunity to reflect on what you want and need in a relationship, and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve.
You deserve someone who is willing to communicate openly and honestly, and who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Don't let this experience discourage you from pursuing meaningful connections in the future. Stay hopeful and remain true to yourself.