Does he seem ok with seeing me casually?
I have been casually seeing this guy for a year. We are friends with benefits I saw him a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes we go months without seeing each other.
When I was there he was telling me about the things that were going on with him. We talked about what we both like in relationships. He spoke to me about what happened between him and his ex-wife which happened years ago. He told me that he doesn’t want to get married again. And that he doesn’t want to live with anyone again. I'm assuming he’s saying this because of a situation that just happened with his friend. He was letting her and her kid live with him and he was helping her and she assaulted him. He’s also a type one diabetic and I asked him what he would do if he needed help since he lives alone. And he said whatever happens just happens. He doesn’t like communicating with people and he said that he doesn't want to live around neighbors and he eventually wants to move an hour away. So that he can live somewhere that isn't surrounded by other people. And he said that he knows that he has to go to counseling. Because he'd like to start a business and he'll need to learn to talk to people.
He also does talk to me about his mother sometimes like he told me she was sick with Cancer. And that she has a nice boyfriend who helps take care of her.
I told him men want to date me but that things haven't gone well with it. And that I don't want to be in a relationship. And how there are always some weird people trying to go out with me. I even told him about a guy I met in person and he had bad hygiene. He told me don't date (I'm assuming because I was expressing how difficult of a time I was having with dating). He said he doesn't have time to date. I did say that I've thought about getting into a relationship when I get my career together. But I honestly don't know if that's what I really want.
He's been doing side jobs because he has to get a certification to get a better-paying job.
While he was cooking he was saying things like. I would order something but I don't have any money. And when we were watching a movie he said something like this is what I do when I don't have any money. I guess he was feeling insecure but I don't know understand why. Because I have no problem being at his place and him cooking I actually enjoy it.
I'm asking if it seems like he is ok with how things are between us because I would like to keep seeing him. I like how we spend time together and then go off and do our own thing. And then come back together. I feel comfortable and I don't really feel like dealing with the hassle of having to get to know someone else.
Until both are at the same mental space in casual relationship, I think it works. Once, either person starts wanting for more or less, the things start becoming uncomfortable.
In your case, it seems you both are comfortable having a casual relationship for now. It may last longer. But you may need to ponder yourself that if you want to continue this way. If you see yourself as someone who would want to commit or getting married one day if the right person comes along, then I would suggest not to indulge in ‘friends with benefits’ situation for long. It may help if you seriously date someone ( that someone could be him too) in that case.
It takes a while to find the right one, but once you find him/her you realise why the other relationships never worked.
Again, this is just my opinion. Good luck.