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Elderly mom, terrible sisters. At my wits end

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First time asking for advice so bear with me. This past Christmas Day, my 85 yo mom had a stroke. I was the one to contact one sister who has Power of Attorney, etc. Also a RN who has tried to help keep my mom healthy. Since then, my mom has been in the hospital and it's been difficult to say the least. The One Sister I've been talking to, and to say we have no real relationship is an understatement, but learned just how messed up our parents were in raising us. She has since stopped talking to me because she's so upset with the situation with my mom. Which is another story entirely. Pretty sure mom deliberately ignored medical advice and caused the stroke. She's been in a "poor me" state since my dad died over 4 years ago. Was talking about "not wanting to be around anymore" because she was alone at Christmas. She doesn't realize how much no one wants to be around her because honestly, she's awful. But now suddenly she wants to live? The Other Sister who I haven't spoken to since dad died - hates me for reasons I don't understand. Long story short, she's very much a "Karen" including the haircut. Nasty person on many levels. She's now taking over talking to doctors etc since the One Sister is emotionally spent. She won't contact me at all, and it's up to mom's friend to pass the info on to me. It's not fair to put the friend in the middle of what she didn't realize to be a very dysfunctional family situation. So do I contact the One Sister and say hey I get you're upset but it's not right to drag the friend into this and tell the Other Sister to contact me? Even just by text? I'm sorry she's "checked out" and all but I have my own issues I'm trying to deal with, but they aren't interested in any problems I might have. I'm going to try to seek out a counselor but money is tight of course and this is a complex situation. Forgot to mention the sisters live out of state and I'm sort of nearby. I don't like my mom for legit reasons but to be left out of the loop is not right. One final thought - in case you're wondering, yes, I am afraid of both my sisters because though I'm older, they both have verbally bullied me in the past or have ignored me totally. I just want this to be over and know I'll never want to be in contact with them ever again. Sad but true.

Elderly mom, terrible sisters. At my wits end

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Your post is damned confusing but at the end of the day, you can easily get into the loop by visiting your Mom in hospital just to find out how it's all going & by you talking to the doctors. You'll achieve getting to know what's happening & you'll be saving her friend the hassle & embarrassment of contacting you & you'll also be achieving by cutting your bullying sisters as you call them, right out of the picture. Sure, your family is toxic & there's hundreds of thousands of them all over the globe but anyway, if you don't help yourself in this situation you'll get nowhere. You call it complex but it's very easy to sort it if everyone co-operates & some negotiation takes place but if that won't or can't happen, then the only way is to get on with your life without the bullshit & blarney of your sisters. Cut them out completely, block them whatever you have to do for your own sanity. Your Mom may survive & go onto to live for another 10 years but she doesn't want to going by your post...or does she? you reckon she all of the sudden wants the attention even if she's unbearable to be around & even at Christmas time?? Forget about your sisters if they won't talk to you & even in a family emergency, they aren't reaching out to you, so it's time to start taking control of your own life without looking back over your shoulder at your toxic family.

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