I am so lost and confused
4 months ago I seperated from my husband and moved in with another guy. My husband and I do have 1 child together and we share her. One week I get her and one week he gets her and does fine. Problem is....I really was trying to avoid getting into this relationship with this guy that I am now with. I wasn't really looking but a girl I use to work at the shop with just kept insisting that I date the current guy, etc. I don't know if I was too weak or what. So here I am. Engaged to him and yet still married. This guy already has 4 children of his own, 2 of which still stays with him. (He is still married too) But he proposed and I said Yes. I don't know if I said yes because I didn't want to hurt him or what. I even promised him I wouldn't leave him. But here I am now....hurting. My husband still waits for me to return. I really don't want a guy in my life right now on the account that I am already confused. Lately, I have been too myself. I miss seeing my daughter everyday and I don't think it is fair to my daughter that I am living in this house with this guy and his 2 kids and I see his kids more than my own.
He loves me. That he does but I can't bare hurting him or the kids. Not in my nature to hurt anybody but too late. I have.
I don't sleep well anymore. Always depressed and sad. And I gave up the best job that I ever had for this guy and now I can't get that job back (tried) and right now I am trying to get another job but this guy really doesn't want me to work. I am always on the go with him. Never have time for myself. Just that one day to myself that everyone needs. He is a kidney transplant patient since 07 I think. Lately I have been doing nothing but taking care of him and the house and his kids. I did get to eat lunch with my daughter today at her school and will get to go visit her here shortly. I am just lost and what to do. I really don't feel the love for this guy anymore. There was some there but everything has changed.
There is so much I want to say but I have already made this long.
You guys are definitely not rady to get married since you haven't been able to negotiate a lifestyle that works for both of you. Let him know that you need to have a job/career to feel good about yourself and although you love him dearly you cannot entirely devote every second of your life to him as there are things you need to do too like care for yourself and your children.