Need help with a girl I love a lot
So me and my girlfriend have been dating for about about two years now and it has been amazing, despite our current situation. The thing is, after we had been dating for about 6 months, her family moved about an hour south from where we were living before because of her dads job. We both were very much committed to each other and willing to do a long distance relationship, we were determined to make it work. After about a year doing a long distance relationship, things started changing with me... i became depressed and secluded myself socially and lost myself... i lost my job and was loosing determination to try in school... i was lonely and lost. the only thing i had that helped me feel better and made my life feel like it had some sort of security, was my girlfriend. she was always just a phone call away. i could tell her anything that was on my mind, explain myself and feel like someone was listening... she was my life line... I felted on her for my own sanity and emotional health.
This may sound like a good thing to a lot of people... we had a good relationship before, we were best friends and fell in love with each other. We stayed in love, even though we were thousands of miles away. she is there for me and she was everything.
Our long distance relationship was Amazing! considering other long distance relationships. Or so I thought.
My girlfriend has never been "social". She enjoys talking to people and having friends but she never cared about being part of the crowd. I love that about her. She was different, she was independent.
But recently, she made a TON of friends. She would do everything with them and would spend any free time she had with them. Now, I'm not saying its bad she had friends. I was so happy that she found a group of people she could just enjoy her self around... But I got jealous. I would sit in class and would be having a panic attack because she didn't text me back soon. Every night we would talk for about an hour or so. Just catch up on the day. But she was always with friends, I could never get time to talk to her. I was becoming bitter and angry toward her and her new friends. Jealousy and fear, filled my heart.
Every night for about a week I texted her and called her about a dozen times trying to get hold of her. I would freak out and have a mental breakdown because she would not respond to my attempts to get hold of me. At the moment, I felt like I had lost her... I felt like she hated me and I needed to talk to her to talk through our problems... But I was just worried because I felt like my best friend and girlfriend abandoned me. I harassed her and blew up her phone every night for about 9 days strait... I felt like she was ignoring me and hated me. But she was just out bowling with her family, or having dinner.
My girlfriend never abandoned me. She never stopped loving me. She told me that. But this girl that had been my everything the past year of my life. She was the person that made my depression bearable. She was my savior In a way. She was one of the things in my life that was steady and I felt security with.
I didnt realize how much this was harming us untill it was too late. i knew i loved her, with out a doubt in my mind i did. But when I said I loved her, I wasn't saying it because I felt it... When I said I can't live with out you I LOVE you. Love became NEED. I needed her and was reliant on her. I became clingy and needy, instead of supportive and cooperative. I became co dependent.
Anyways. She told me, "Hey, I love you and care about you, but you are way to clingy and needy right now. I wish you were the person I fell in love with. You changed so much, I changed and made friends. I want to be with you, but not when your like this. You need to focus on yourself right now by yourself."
She was right... I know that now. I know what I need to do to help myself and everyone else that cares about me. I'm working on it.
My main question is. What should I do as far as my relationship with her goes? I want to be with her some day, when we can live around each other and spend time together. But I feel like I pusher her over the edge and she doesn't want what I want anymore.
Is there any hope for us to be together some day?
How can I show her I am trying to change?
What can I do right now to keep even our friendship together?
I need help... Advice... Some direction.
Please if you can tell me what would be best for me and her... Tell me.
Here's a phone number to call its the boys town national hotline. It's free 1-800-448-3000 they might be able to help you