Where did the love go?
I have been dating my fiance for almost 9 years. Within the last few years we have faught about every little thing possible. I feel as if I am falling out of love with him. We were dating for alittle over 7 years when we found out we were pregnant. one year after giving birth to our daughter he finally proposed to me and I said yes saying as I had been wanting it for YEARS!!! and we have continued to fight none stop. now I am 5 months pregnant and the fighting is getting to be way too much for me to handle. I am on bedrest and have been for going on 18 weeks so I do not have a job other than taking care of what I can of the house and of our daughter. My fiance is the only one of his siblings that have a job so on top of caring for myself and our daughter his siblings think that it is his job to take care of them and their children and we do for the most part. My fiance will be the first to tell you that he hates confrontation!!! This is why he NEVER stands up for himself, his daughter or myself. I have been pushed to the point where his family has walked all us and so I have had to tell them to back off and then it turns into threats and name calling and I just have to stand there and take it. I have had 3 miscarriages and it is hard not to blame his family because everyone of them has happened right after a fight with his family. I want my children to know I love their father I do not want them to grow up in the drama that their father and I did. I want my family to stay together but If he does not stand up for us I am afraid I am going to end up having to leave. He has told me over and over again for almost 3 years, after I finally told him he had to do something about his family, that he will change he will fix this. He now is deleteing messages from his Cell and will not let me touch it. changed his passwords to anything and has pretty much kept everything from me. If he needs to run to the grocery store he is gone for hours and when I question him he gets very angry and makes up stories which most of the time his family is in. I need help should I stay or should I go? I thought I loved him 9 years is alot to throw away. exspecially with 2 kids! I dont know what else to do to fix it and I am at my breaking point! I am constantly crying and wanting to run as far as I can. IF I stay what should I do and if I go how do I get out?????? HELP ME PLEASE!!!
Its not as easy as "staying" or "going". He obviously doesn't like confrontation, and all you want to do is have a peaceful conversation to clear things up. You guys MIGHT need a middle ground like a family member or a therapist in order to have a purposeful conversation. Do you think he might agree to that?
Try and stay out of his problems with his family, ask him to be honest with you, try to be as calm as you can with him because if you fight with him he will run to his family or to another women explain to him what upsets you, understand that if you put pressure on him as well as his family he will snap, don't allow his family to your house and explain to him that you only to that to keep away from their problems creat it a happy bubble in your home, if he goes out and stays too long don't nag him when he comes back ignore him and give him time to relax and he will naturally start to tell u about his day if he doesn't ask his nicely later in an curious way and not as an interrogation.
Be the happy side of his life eventually he will see that u care for him and u will be the lap where he puts his head and talk about everything that bothers him and then only advise him positively and remember blood never turns into water.