Unsure about whether to end a relationship
I have been dating my boyfriend for the last year. I recently moved to Spain for one year, for my career, and he agreed to support me during this.
However, I have a growing feeling of frustration with the way the relationship is going. When I have said I feel lonely or am struggling with life over here, he has simply responded with 'there is nothing I can do to make you feel better' or has offered little to no support at all.
Initially, I was unsure if I could make it home for Xmas, which I told him about. I then discovered I could, and emailed him at the beginning of October to tell him. He did not acknowledge it but I didn't think there was a problem. When I asked him when it would be best for me to visit, he claimed he was too busy seeing his friends, and had made arrangements with them. I asked if there was anything I could join in with, or even if we could meet for an hour just to see each other whilst I am in the same country, and he was unwilling. I find it hard to understand why he would not want to see me, even for just an hour, whilst I am in the same country and am willing to travel up to see him. He claimed he was too busy with his friends and will be 'too drunk' to see me.
It is my birthday in a few weeks and I suggested booking a hotel for a weekend away. He said he would book it, but it has been two weeks and each time he claims he will, it never happens. I would not normally be so bothered about that, but coupled with the New Year debacle, I am beginning to feel pretty rubbish.
Do you think I should end it now or keep giving him a second chance?
I think you should end it. You're being played around, go for your career for and carry on doing what you're doing in Spain. I think from the sounds of things he's already moving on, he doesn't want to be close with you no more. It's best to get over him and concentrate on your education and yourself only. You already suggested ideas to him and he wasn't willing to take them forward.
To be frank, his actions are screaming that you are not his number one priority. If his interests are with his friends and their drinking habits together, and he can't even find the time to spend one hour with you after you have made to the effort to do so, then you need to realize that you are not on his radar. If he hasn't a NEED to be with you, then you know that you're basically wasting your time looking to him for support.
You are better off being alone rather than being lonely and being treated disrespectfully by your BF who you would expect to be supporting you, particularly after he agreed to do so. It should be a given that he's there for you, rather than it be an effort from you to organize to meet up with him.
The previous poster is correct, you need to move on, concentrate on your career and get on with your life.