Should I let go of him and move on? Or should I keep trying and how?
So basically me and this guy had been talking for about 2 and a half months. like we weren't serious or dating or anything but we both really liked eachother. but the problem was, for some reason we decided to have sex after only 3 weeks of knowing eachother. we were both virgins. and I know it was stupid but it didn't seem like a bad idea at the time. so. after that I kinda started to grow attached. I became pretty possessive over him and he would get mad. it got worse so we decided to take a break. I thought we'd get back together within a few weeks buts it's been a month and he tells me he's over me now. He always brags to me about how he's talking to other girls and he gets mad when I get jealous or whatever. Its so hard to just get over him because I just like him so much and I don't know what to do or say to make things right again. he says we should still be friends and he'll still ask me to come over and have sex. like that's all I mean to him now and I think it's because he lost respect for me when I agreed to having sex so early. obviously I can't go back and fix that but I'm wondering if there's anything I can do now to make things better? should I just learn to get over him? I mean, he told me he still likes me but he just doesnt show it. I don't know what to do anymore. any advice would be appreciated.
also, one of the other reasons we ended it was because he's a senior in high school and I'm a sophomore. he thinks it's a waste of time to date because he doesn't think we will be able to work out while he's in college( he plans o going out of state) and I understand that and I don't want to hold him back from his future. I just hate how that only applies to me. like he talks to all these other girls but wouldn't they be a waste of time too? I feel like that was just his excuse. idk I'm so confused with everything he does and says. one moment he makes it seem like he wants to get back together and the next he acts like he doesn't want anything to do with me. I really like him and he means alot to me. So, that's why I need advice. I'm torn between trying as hard as I possibly can and just giving up on him completely...
Your first sexual relationship is an important relationship in your life. Often, young people engage in sexual relationships without thinking fully about the consequences, respect, and even maintenance involved. You shouldn't beat yourself up for "having sex too early." You felt like you really liked him, and it is very natural for people to engage in sex when they have these feelings for another person. It is important to establish boundaries and disclose your desires before having sex. If you were seeking a long term relationship, this might have helped you both to decide if becoming intimate was a good mutual decision. It seems that your guy is a bit older, and probably experiencing "senioritus," a common set of feelings experienced by young people as they prepare to grow up and move on from highschool. If he is going out of state, then pursuing a long term relationship might not be best for either of you. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, especially when someone is in college, and when both people are still growing, both emotionally and physically. Long distance relationships require absolute commitment from both parties and a high degree of trust to function properly.
It is understandable that you have strong feelings, but you need to ask yourself if those feelings are enough to keep you in a relationship that is not bringing you the joy you deserve as a human being. If he is not respecting your feelings or returning them, than maybe you should ask yourself if this relationship is really what you want, need, and deserve from another person. It sounds like you probably want a closer, more loving relationship.
At any rate, I'd advise you to move on, at least for now. Learn about yourself, learn to enjoy your own life for a while. Discover more about who you are, and what your needs and desires in a relationship are. While you do this, you will begin to heal, and by stepping back from the situation, you will be better able to examine it and make decisions from a more realistic perspective.
Seeing you move on might inspire the guy to react out of fear of loss and start giving you more attention. It is important that you distinguish those feelings from those necessary from a real, loving commitment. No one should be together simply because they are afraid to lose the other person.
For now, move on, learn about yourself, and when you are ready and feeling healthy, emotionally, date again. Next time don't let hormones or the desire to share intimacy dictate who you become involved with. Though it is difficult, establish your own set of wants, goals, and needs in a relationship and stick to them. If the other person isn't on the same page, be wary of engaging in intimacy, as it can lead to pain and a sense of loss. It gets easier as you go, but there is no sense in wasting your time learning about relationships by making the same mistakes. Educate yourself on what it takes to establish healthy relationships and what you really want, and stick to it.
Good luck, and god bless.
There are different forms of relationships, people can choose to be bed buddies or legit couples and it seems to me this guy you mentioned prefers the former and definitely not the latter. You have to be assertive enough and communicate what you expect from a relationship before having sex with someone since it creates an emotional attachment and its bound to hurt when the relationship amounts to nothing. As far as your friend is concerned I think the only thing that exists between the two of you is attraction and sometimes its often confused as a sign of a budding relationship. He wants sex from you and nothing more, well at least at the moment and the fact that he openly brags about he's other interests is a clear sign that he disrespects you. If you're looking for love, respect and commitment then this guy isn't for you-move on and I'm sure you'll find someone who appreciates your fiercely loyal and loving nature. We've all had our fair share of disappointments much similar to yours but I've gotten over most and learned that relationships that don't meet up to my expectations aren't worth my time. It might hurt at first letting go but it's the best thing you can do for your heart.