I have been with my boyfriend for a few months now and he is currently going through a divorce. He says that him and his ex don't get along and they are only civil for their kids' sake, but I still get feelings of hate when he talks to her on the phone, and I don't want him to be around her at all. I also get feelings of jealousy and hate when he goes to see his kids. In fact, I prefer to think of him as a single guy, not a "dad." It is mostly his eight year old daughter that I have these feelings about, not his son. I myself don't have kids so maybe that is why I feel this way, but I am wondering if with time it will get better. When he has off from work and goes to see them, it is always a "fight" day, meaning, I am in a bad mood and pick arguments and insult him, telling him he is probably going to go f*ck his "fat ex" and "have fun with your brats." It is to the point where I get mad just thinking about him having contact with them at all. Other than that, we get along great, good communication, etc. What can I do? Its not like his kids are going to "go away" and I really don't want to have anything to do with them, meet them, whatever. I had a past relationship where the kids of the guy I was dating were terrible, and he really pushed them on me, even though I had no desire to be a replacement "mommy." I do wonder if this has something to do with the way I am feeling now, because in that case, I also had strong feelings of dislike against the daughter. I don't want us to split up because of this, but I also don't want to be miserable a few days a week. Any advice?????
I know you might not want to hear this but you can't expect your boyfriend to not see his children, it's selfish. If you ask him to choose you or his children it's likely he would pick his kids, which to be fair is only right. He does kinda have to be civil to his ex as well after all they do ave kids together. It doesn't mean he doesn't want you or want to be back with her, it ended for a reason. You need to speak to him about it in a calm way and explain your feelings and insecurities, tell him your not ready for spending time with his kids due to your previous relationship. If your bond is string he will understand however if you keep insulting him by saying he wants to sleep with her, or he's going to see his brats you will push him away and lose him for good as you just sound like a jealous brat. Sorry that sounds harsh but I do wish you the best if luck x