I have been with my partner for 2 yrs. He moved in with me 2 months ago. I have just found out he has been contacting other women via a social network site for the whole 2 yrs we've been together. His chat with these women has been very VERY sexually explicit. He has told some of them he loves them, thinks of them all the time, wants to be with them, and a lot of extremely filthy sex chat. He has even discussed me & our relationship with 1 of them, calling me his 'weekend girlfriend' and that he puts up with me for the sex and when he touches me, he's thinking of her. I am absolutely devastated. When I confronted him he denied it & tried to blame his own son for going on his social networking site. When he finally admitted it, he said he was totally committed to me now he's moved in, he has given up his job and home to move in to a new life with me, and all this was in the past, it was a bit of fun and he was bored. He has denied actually having sex with these women - although he did ask them for sex he says they never actually did. He says what he did was wrong and hasnt contacted these women since moving in with me. I love him so much, but how can I believe anything he tells me ever again. It seems it was only a matter of time before he DID contact these women again, had had his infidelity not been found out. I don't know what to do. I know what the sensible thing to do would be, but I love him so much. How can I get through this?
I know this is really, really hard to take, but, you already know what to do. You will get through it, you really will. What you won't get through is trying to hang onto a lie. It will inevitably end up with the same outcome anyway (and you instinctively know this) so end the lie and find a partner who will honour and respect you.
I think it depends on whether you want the relationship. If he is going to stay with you and be commited to you, then some conditions would have to be met. You would probably want to go to counceling to discuss the cheating. If he does not take it serious, move on. You may have to live apart for a time as it is. It was not "a bit of fun from boredom", it was sneaky and dishonest. It must be dealt with on that level.