Ok. Im going to try to make this long story short. I am 24 years old. I was with my high school sweetheart since I was 14 years old. We grew up together, lived together, bought a house together, have a 6 year old daughter together, and we are best friends. We were together for 9 years. When we had our daughter, his father got him a job in construction where he was gone all the time. I would see him every other weekend and since he was there he developed a alcohol addiction so when he did come home he was out with his friends drinking and coming home for me to feed and clean up the mess. I got frustrated I told him to get help and he wouldn't because he didn't think he had a problem. It went on for months finally I sat him down and in tears told him it was the last straw you either quit drinking or I am leaving with our child. He thought it was a joke so I called my mom and I left. It was a messy break up, we werent married but it was like we were because we had been together for so long and splitting possessions and figuring out custody was a emotional rollercoaster. Now this is where it is all sorts of confusing and i dont know what to do anymore because I have gotten myself into a horrible mess. I, I dont know out of loneliness or anger or what have you, met someone and started seeing him during the break up. He is a sweet guy and things (I knew) were moving too fast. We ended up moving in together after 5 months and he even ended up proposing to me which I said yes because I dont know, thats what you say when it happens because everything was just happening so fast. After about 9 months of being with this new guy he came home one day and said he wasnt happy and left me. Just up and left, no reason except he wasnt happy. After that I moved back in with my ex. 3 months later the other guy emails me to tell me that he made a huge mistake and that he wants to be with me ect. I fell for it and left the ex again to be with him. Now it gets even worse. Because it isnt how it was. I ended up, besides my better judgment, became pregnant. Did I mention that me and my ex (suprisingly) are best friends? We talk all the time and I still love him. I see myself with him. But...I am pregnant with the other guys baby. My ex wants me to come back and be a family again. I want that too because he finally has gotten help and has completely stopped drinking and is being the man i wanted him to be before it came to me leaving. But how do I keep going back and forth?? I dont want to hurt anyone but someone is going to get hurt either way. There is a little more I do have to add. My mom is my best friend. I talk to no one but her but she hates my ex. And she is practically in love with the new guy. I mean IN LOVE. She doesnt know how I feel but when I try to kinda throw out a hint she has told me she would never talk to me again and "adopt" the new guy as her son which hurts because I think she really would and I dont want to loose my family. I just want to be happy, my daughter to be happy, and to move on with no more of this drama. I hate this. I feel like I am trapped in a horrible Maury show or something and I just need someone to tell me what I am doing!
Set your mother's feelings aside. You need to choose the guy YOU love and know you can be happy with. If you go in the other direction, either you'll eventually leave him, or be unhappy. If your mother really loves you, she'll forgive you. It's gonna cause some tension though. A few family fights though. Eventually, if you're happy, they'll come around if they really love you.
I say stick with the ex, he changed himself (kicked the bottle) to be closer to you and his daughter. This new guy wants a relationship of convienience. If you were happy with the ex before his drinking started I say keep him. New baby, your choice you can put the biological father's name on that birth certificate or not. Legally the biological father can only protest once a DNA test has been confirmed. If the new guy could jump ship after nine months makes you wonder how long before he does it again. As T-MILLER said tough titties to your mom! tell her to go marry the yoyo!!
so did have alot said but for some reason the page jumped and lost everything I typed....
Im not sure how to just leave the new guy or even tell him. Everytime I start I stop myself because I am worried about the baby and him trying to take her away or court. I am 27 weeks pregnant, just started my third trimester. If it was earlier in the pregnancy I can see it being easier but now so far along the new guy and my mom have made so many plans. Not with me but for me. Like who's going to be in the birthing room which I guess is going to be him my mom and his mom and sister. I am not okay with this. With my first baby it was just me and my ex. I tried to explain that no I dont want everyone in there with me and my mom shuts me up by saying oh the ex filled your head with a bunch of junk and kept us from this special and this one wants us there. Quit being selfish...ect. I just want my ex with me in the room because he knows and we been through it. I know its not fair to either of them to wait because my ex is waiting and the new guy doesnt know or does idk. I did try talking to my mom again and it didnt go so well. She didnt say anything to the new guy she just followed me around and even started driving by my exes house to see if I was there like a salker. I freaked out on her because I am 24 and she is acting insane. Nothings been said since. Its like the waves get big and then it settles ect. I just dont know how to say its over and just go! I dont know how! Ive only broke up with one guy and that was my ex! I dont know how to start or anything! any advice would be great (i Know im not going to get a script but something maybe courage idk).