I want to be re-united with my husband
We've been together for 10 years. We got married few months ago. After 4 months of marriage I found out that he had a girlfriend (he started seeing her few weeks before i caught him). I told him its either u leave her of leave home, he left. He says that it has nothing to do with her, that he wasn't happy.....
Now 4 months later I suspect that he is living with her even though he says he's not, I have no way to know anything about their relationship but she seems to be a very clever calculating manipulating woman.
Last week we started couple therapy, he says he's not sure what the outcome of it will be. I can't understand if he wants back or not. I didn't push him into the therapy, he's going willingly but does not say if he wants to work on our relationship or not.
I see him few times weekly, when we're together he's nice and we have a very good time, when we talk on the phone he's caring but it seems that when he leaves something changes his mind again.
I can't understand if he wants back or not, he didn't file for divorce, he said at the session that he loves me but isn't sure about our relationship, that i have changed and that i am no longer the girl who cares about him, that he feels that i don't support him anymore and that we have serious issues that he doubt can be solved ..... we went on a couple therapy session, wasn't very good, we didn't talk about the important things. He asked us to talk after it and we did. we came to the conclusion that we are going to try, he wanted us to go to see him separately, I did and my husband is going tomorrow. he came home last week, we spent some hours together, it was very good, i felt that something is going on, he was nice, lovable, gentle.... I don't know it's confusing..... I went to the therapist alone yesterday, he told me that my husband is confused and cant make up his mind... we have a session on saturday, we're supposed to decide for good what to do... i pray for god to make all this go away... i love him and want him in my life...
I was wondering if he is still seeing this other girl. Marriage is tough at times, and it takes work from both sides but the main thing is, he needs to know if he wants to be married. If yes, you can both make it work and seeing a therapist is the correct way to go about it. Treat each other with respect. If he cannot commit to only you, then your definition and his definition of marriage are very different. And if that's the case, you don't want to spend a lifetime with him. Find someone who is on the same page as you as far as what you think a marriage is all about. You both deserve to be happy. I know it sounds unreal that you could be happy with someone else because you still love him, but he needs to commit to ONLY YOU. That's what marriage is - two people as one. There should be no one else involved.