Red flag or over reacting on my part?
Hello! I need relationship advice from someone outside of the story. I've been "seeing" a guy for about 7 months now, we met at work. After talking a lot at work, we finally started to hang out outside of work, however he had admitted to me that he was still living with his ex as they bought a house together about 7 months prior to it all. After meeting me, he moved out of this house and started renting a place in the city I am from. I helped him through this process and provided him with support and guidance as I knew this was tough for him because he had put alot of his money and efforts into this house. After all this happened though, his ex and him had continued texting each other, even though he said he was going to cut all strings once he got his money(which he did get all his money). I was convinced something was going on or there were still feelings involved, so I told him I would give him space to figure it all out or the opportunity to be single, but he said he wanted to be with me, so I believed him. It's been 7 months now and we are still "seeing" eachother. I have had the talk with him about what we are, but he continues to beat around the bush and say we are dating and in a relationship, but will never refer to me as his girlfriend. He told me after the "dust had settled" from the whole house situation, we would move forward in the relationship, but it has not happened yet, even after confronting him a few times about what we are. I also confronted him about whether he is just using me to fill a void from the emptiness his last relationship caused, but he denies it always. I feel used and I feel like he puts no effort towards having a relationship of any kind with me, but I constantly feel like in the end, maybe it's my fault and I'm stressing everything too much. We have been fighting alot lately, and he constantly points the finger at me saying it's something new every week that bothers me.. but he doesn't seem to understand how I feel or my point of view at all. He always just says he doesn't understand what I'm saying or why I feel that way, even though I explain it thoroughly to him, I feel like he is playing dumb. After explaining it all, I know what I need to do, but I don't know why I can't just end it and leave it be! Help!
Sera I feel like you have the had time to think things thought and that you have had a chance you express how you feel. I agree with you if you do not feel that him is 100% in this reationship and you do all the work then it is time to go. I have been in a relationship like that and it is not healthy for you. Get out and move on I know there are better things out there. I am now married to a man that loves me for me and is as commited to the relationship as i am.
if someone really really wanted you ,i dont think realistically you would have to convince anyone of how they feel .Once you intervene too much to get a result .Itll probably be to shut you up .You cannot force anyone to love you .See the obvious ,move on be true to yourself .And you will meet someone who will return your feelings without you even asking for them .
I don't think you're over reacting on anything. You have explained and he doesn't want to listen. Therefore he doesn't love you like he says he does. I think you need to move on from this guy. He makes it very clear that he can do whatever he wants regardless of how it makes you feel. You can't force a person to feel something that isn't there. If you stay it won't be good.
he has committment problems to begin with why didnt he marry the other girl? also why should you have you do the bulk of relationship work? you are too close to the problem to see it i also have a similar situation.