Hard to forget about break ups when you are living with them
Hello im new here and my problem is very common like all who went through a break up. My relationship with my ex boyfriend was long. Like 2 years. But the break up is new. And nothing hurts more than your first relationship/ love. The beginning was easy and wonderful and we were so much in love, but later on one year later we decided to fight. Petty things that we didnt like each other about and soon it had gotten worse because the mistakes keep repeating itself. after he broke it off i was torn cried so much till my head ached. My family is crazy and cannot help me. Talking to a friend seemed impossible because i was so dedicated spending my time with my ex that i didnt see myself changing from who i once was. I was once a positive outgoing extrovert now im all closed doors. I hate the feeling of being asked questions about my broken up relationship and i dont make others worry so i rarely talk about my feelings on the net. But now i need some help because i am confused and hurt. Apparently, reading the net about tips and others problem didnt make me feel so lonely.... till later i had talked to him face to face that i was going to try getting us back together ... my ex said he didnt want to get back together because there is no relationship to be fixed ,because we both want different things in a relationship.that he exactly knows what he wants in a relationship, that he knows himself best, isnt attracted to me, cannot imagine getting back together, and had told me to give up because the only way that we were getting back together was that if i wasnt interested in him anymore. It hurt and told him all i needed to say. And said that this wasnt easy for me. After we had broken up he started getting curious of what i was doing and started talking to me. I said that it was bad enough that im stuck living with him cause we are both college students... but to hear his voice and seeing his face gets my heart beating and then it hurts afterwards.....we broke up on new years 2013 ...around that time i heard news of our good family friends in a bus wreck two parents dead. My cousin's wife has breast cancer and is getting both surgically removed. its been 1 week since our break up. I just hung out with a friend today and made things feel a little better. But i still want him back. I dont want him cause he was my first, i dont want him back because im lonely, i want him because he made me the happiest, he was the best thing in my life. School is starting tomorrow but as much as i have fun in school and stay late at school. I will just be unhappy because when i come home i will see him there and it is getting a lot harder to have fun and to forget. I dont believe i am mentally prepared. I wanted to know on how to get him back. But now i just need advice about how to forget....... Sorry for my poor english. It is getting really late but i will post more details if needed.....thank you for reading.
I went throughthe same thing except he was trying to get me back after we seperated and he was seeing other people while he was in the army wich mest things up because we was each others first and i cant emagine being with him afetr he has been with others, ....if i ws in your shoes it would of been easier for me to move on .....dont you understand he doesnt deserve you , give him time keep your self busy and focused at least try your not by your self its been 4 years and e stil talks to my family , what im trying to say is some people dont realize what they have until they loose it , dont make it obvios your sufering i know its hard iam still going through it its a everyday thing especially when his your first .but you have to put your self first and realize that if some one loves you they would never allow you to go trough that , time doesnt take it way but it allows you to live with it some das are harder then others but you will learn to live with it , you can do it keep your sef busy and talking to people , excersize , keep friends around , cry if u have too , cry till you u have no tears left ( thast what i did ), dont play sad music , talk to guys even if ur not intrested ....so you can keep busy and maybe make him regret it , dont play the victim ! u always have the upper hand ...and what ever you do ...afetr every thing e told you ...do not fight to get him bac it should be thw whole way around ...do not i prepeat do not chase some one dat doesnt want to even be their for you , knowing your hurt ....u will get hurt even more !
sorry my keyboard is really bad but i hope yu get me !
Thank for the advice. This an update. I made a mistake and got a little angry at him and tried holding it in. In result i threw up my dinner in bed for no reason at all. Im guessing it was built up stress. Im not sure. But i was really scared st that time and a little shaken now. The thing is that he is dealing with this a lot better than i due to his past exes, who tried guilting him and blackmailing him back into the relationship. I have no intention doing so but hearing himself enjoying the tv and looking like he is having fun so soon added pressure onto me to work on shutting down in front of him. We set up some ground rules so we can try not getting in eachothers way. But i hear him walking around in the apartment and it hurts and when he leaves i feel at ease...You are right that i must keep myself busy and is one of my plans on the path to full recovery. I will probably rejoin kendo or yoga like i used to and play all the games i couldnt purchase while i was in school just to keep myself occupied.but i dont think hanging around with men that i dont have interests in is a good idea, because i dont really want to guilt him into thinking he made a mistake. Even though it is such a nice idea to make him jealous. I want him to be attracted to me the way i am. Some times i feel like i am working myself too hard forcing myself to think that i do not need him. But it is in no comparison of how long other females have dealt with their firsts.... i decided to take upon myself to read about male and female psyche in a relationship. You know, to help me ease things.