What can I do
Hi everyone, I need some help.
My husband and I have been together 5 yrs and married over a yr. We also have a child.
While pregnant and just after I had our child he was sending and receiving texts, emails and picture msgs from girls, he denied it all but thenwhen he couldnt get out of it said it was him.
I forgave him, got married 2 yrs after that, i then find msgs on his phone between him and his cousin again denied and put down to one of the lads from his work.
He is also obbssessed with porn, its all over his laptop and phone. Ive spoken to him about this as i dont like it. He said he will stop then i find more.
He constantly changes his passwords on phone or computer if ive asked to use it and refuses me to use his email account when mine wasnt working and when caught out.
What should i do? Should i be worried?
Porn can be addictive, even for men who truly love their wives. Actually communicating with porn actresses takes things up a level from one-sided voyerism to person-to-person interaction.
Here's a suggestion you might consider:
After 5 years of marriage, some of the "thrill" of sex can be lost. You might try to plan a special type of fantasy evening for your husband where YOU are the fantasy. Have someone look after your child for the evening. If your husband likes looking at scantilly clad women, then wear something sexy just for him. Meet him at the door when he comes home wearing your sexy little outfit with his favorite drink in your hand. Set the mood for the erotic/romantic blend that you think he might like. You've seen the type of porn he likes to view, and you can decide for yourself if you want to do a little role-playing based on what you've seen. Prepare a sensual meal and serve him in a sensual way. I think you can get the idea about what I'm suggesting. But, only follow this suggestion if you're comfortable with it.
I used to enjoy strip clubs myself until the woman in my life did for me what I suggested above for you to do for your husband.
There is some truth to the old saying "If you feed your man at home, then he won't go out to eat." If you are comfortable feeding his erotic appetite, then he might be less inclined to try and satisfy himself elsewhere.
Trust is a two-way street, you can't expect to receive it, if you're not willing to give it. It's wrong for your husband to say one thing, and then do another. However, it's also wrong (in my humble opinion) for you to go looking for things that you really don't want to find.
If he is truly obbssessed with porn as you say, and the suggestion above is something that you are reluctant to try (or is unsuccessful after trying) you might consider seeking some professional couples counseling.
Worry is wasted energy. Making a plan to address the issue is a far more productive use of your time.