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Friendships based on pity

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HEy everyone! I have two friends which I don't find interesting but I let them around me because I have a pity on them. One of those friends is a very negative guy which always makes me down but still I was seeing him because I was not feeling comfortable that he is lonely. After a while I cut my connection with him slowly. One day I saw by coinsidence and I told him that I don't see him anymore because of his behaviours. The other friend is actually a nice friendly guy, but we don't have any common and he is kind of lame for me. He thinks I am his best friend ever but I just let him join me when I go out because he is new in the city. I always judge myself, who am I to take a pity on them? This fake politeness and soft heart hurts me a lot and I don't think I am being ethique in the friendship. Am I a bad person who is talking behind people's backs and smiling their faces? If you can give me your objective opinions I will be happy. You can also advice me a book to read about this subject. Thanks a lot!

Friendships based on pity

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Hmm...well it seems your trying to do good when really in the end your causing more harm. It's really not up toyou to take pity on people...in a way its nice of you...but I really wouldn't want a fake friend...especially if this person feels close to you, when you guys eventually part,he may take it kind hard...if I were you is start now and stop hanging out with him to make the whole thing easier oh him or if u don't want to do that you should maybe try and.find common ground with him and maybe try being his real friend?

Friendships based on pity

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Thank you for your answer.You are very right, it is really not up to me. This is the reason why I was confused with myself. Maybe it is time for me to not think so much on other people. It puts pressure on my life and also I harm them. Sometimes I want to be humble in the relations and also have friends which they don't have the same background like me and teach them something. But maybe this behaviour is already very arrogant. At the end I mess up everything. Maybe I should stop being fake to them.

Friendships based on pity

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This doesnt make you a bad person because your heart is obviously in the right place. Its just not the best way to do it because it wont help you or them. Because it seems like you you guilt trick yourself into feeling a sense of duty to befriend them. This then causes you to be unhappy and doesnt really help them because its only a matter of time before you want to breakaway and they would be even more upset b

Friendships based on pity

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This doesnt make you a bad person because your heart is obviously in the right place. Its just not the best way to do it because it wont help you or them. Because it seems like you you guilt trick yourself into feeling a sense of duty to befriend them. This then causes you to be unhappy and doesnt really help them because its only a matter of time before you want to breakaway and they could be even more upset. And it also stops them from finding out what the problem is. So the second person you should let go and give the honest reason that you dont think that you have enough common interest and dont beat yourself up about it because it is the best tjing for you and then it will push him to go and find someone with more common interests. So just learn from it and become friends with people out of like for them and shared interests and dont sacrafice your life for other people because you need to live your own life. Hope this helps.

Friendships based on pity

Default profile image
This doesnt make you a bad person because your heart is obviously in the right place. Its just not the best way to do it because it wont help you or them. Because it seems like you you guilt trick yourself into feeling a sense of duty to befriend them. This then causes you to be unhappy and doesnt really help them because its only a matter of time before you want to breakaway and they could be even more upset. And it also stops them from finding out what the problem is. So the second person you should let go and give the honest reason that you dont think that you have enough common interest and dont beat yourself up about it because it is the best tjing for you and then it will push him to go and find someone with more common interests. So just learn from it and become friends with people out of like for them and shared interests and dont sacrafice your life for other people because you need to live your own life. Hope this helps.

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